at least I have my... hmm... well...

as we know, I've been having some rough luck lately. through it all, I've been trying to look at the positive side of things by saying, "well, at least I have my health." but then...

yesterday, I got some potentially bad news which was that one of my blood tests indicated that I have a positive marker for rheumatoid arthritis. I'm not sure this means that I necessarily have rheumatoid arthritis but I definitely could, especially since my mom has it. however, I don't really have any of the symptoms. so... who knows? I guess a rheumatologist would which is why I have an appointment with one in a few weeks to find out if I do (or do not) have an incurable disease that will cause my body to attack and destroy itself. fun, huh?

let's see... what else? the usual, I guess. still have dog. still no house. still no boy (big B or small). and that's all okay. as my iChing reading said yesterday (and seriously, I'm not kidding) "k'un: oppression (exhaustion). an unavoidable time of adversity... success is simply not possible now" so I think it's best to just not try. that's not to say I'm giving up but given the circumstances, I think it's best to sort of sit back and take it all in right now. while eating chocolate. and maybe sitting on a beach.

(btw, Jen, how soon are you moving to Hawaii? and how soon can I move in?)

one of the hardest things I've ever done

I have a doctor's appointment this morning. they're going to do some typical tests, like cholesterol and that means I had to start fasting at 8:30 last night. I can't eat until my appointment is over so I've probably got another two or three hours to go. I know it seems like that's not such a big deal but for me, it is. I haven't eaten in 11 hours now and I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out.

I've spent a lot of time this weekend meditating on the problem areas in my life. here are the results:

1. Abby. she's pretty much fully recovered from the other night and seems pretty darn happy to be alive. so.... as long as she's happy to be here, I'm happy to have her.

2. Boy. he called yesterday because he wanted to see me. honestly, I think he was just lonely and didn't want to be alone. I told him about Abby and he said "I'm sorry to hear that" but didn't ask anything about what, specifically was going on, what I was thinking of doing, how I was doing, etc. feeling like he just didn't understand or couldn't relate to what I was going through, later in our conversation I asked, "you know I'm thinking about having her put to sleep, right...?" he said, "yeah, I know." and that was all. and that's exactly what we're not together any more.

3. the job. let's face it. the people I work with (with the exception of my officemate, who is awesome) totally suck. it's a toxic environment and I need to get out of there. right now, we're in the middle of a sight redesign and I think it's good for the resi to stick it out. I figure this will take a good six months or so. so... I guess my goal is to have a new job some time in the fall. but - how exactly does one get a job? internet? I guess so. but it seems like such a black hole. networking? yeah, I guess there's that too but that can be hard. anyway, I guess what I want to say is if those of you who have recently found jobs can give me advice on how to find one, please send the info my way!

not a 100% official diagnosis, but

it seems likely that Abby has a brain tumor.

the diagnosis isn't 100% official because I didn't have a brain scan done on her, just talked to the vet about what's been going on. and the vet (who, btw, is awesome) said she has all the symptoms.

the alleged tumor has been causing mini-strokes over the past few months. at first, they weren't so bad and she seemed mostly fine when they were over. however, last night was not so good. looking back, it had been building up all week - she'd been having more trouble walking than normal, hadn't been eating as much, and was walking sideways. and then it happened.

like the other times, she's better now that it's over but still not back to where she was. the vet said it would take a few days for her to get back to where she was before the incident but that I can expect the episodes to become more frequent and severe. she said that generally, the time between episodes begins to get cut in half. I can't quite remember the last one (and who knows if they're happening when I'm not around)but not last week, or the week before (maybe), but maybe the week before that?

at any rate, what it comes down to is that I'm going to have to eventually say "it's time." and if you do the math, it seems like it's going to be time for me to say "it's time" pretty soon.

(but seriously, wtf right now? I mean, wow.)

a, b, and (most importantly) c

okay, so some of you know that I've hit a bit of a rough patch and have had a number of what one might call "bummers" over the past few months:

- I own the oldest dog in the world and that can be stressful
- Boy and I called it quits
- I fell in love with a house that was already engaged to someone else
- I've had some problems at work with two coworkers who are a) both unhappy, miserable people, b) good friends, c) bothered by me in some way and making sure my boss knows it.

the coworkes are a guy (we'll call him B for boy) and a girl (let's call her W for woman) and it's been just awful working with them the past few months. in fact, things got so bad with B that we had to have a pow-wow/heart-to-heart with our boss. B said it helped him feel better but he also said he has the ability to read people's auras so what can I say? I didn't feel any bettr but I pretended like I did and things were okay for a bit.

however, both B and W seem to have cycles where they become stressed and overwhelmed by work and then get crankier and crankier to deal with, until there's some kind of blowup. then things resolve, go back to "normal" and it starts all over again. B and I had been getting along okay but over the past week or so, he's gotten more withdrawn and anti-social and it's as if you can sense the problem coming.

so... in a meeting today, a few of us (including W) were talking about a design decision. as always, W disagreed with me (I think she's threatened by my degree and feels the need to argue with me just for the heck of it. MAPWs, does this ever happen to you too?) during the argument, B IMed me and said "leeann is so clueless. she just reacts on feeling vs. logic."

I stared at the computer screen, stunned, mouth open. part of me felt like I had just been punched but part of me also had an oddly calm, happy feeling of "dude, you just toally effed up..."

out of the corner of my eye, I saw B's face go pale. he then wrote a bunch of sentences to try to cover his butt, how he meant to substitute W's name for mine so just re-read the sentence with that substitution, etc., blah, blah, blah. I just wrote back and said "no problem. we'll work out the design." more sentences from him, blah, blah, blah. a short simple, "okay, sure." from me. I could tell his was freaking and rightfully so. while I'd like to give B the benefit of the doubt, I don't think I can do that without also thinking I should buy some snakeoil.

I spent the rest of our meeting feeling pretty bad. (despite what some might think, I am human and do have feelings.) but then I had this epiphany: a) it's good to know where you stand with people and at least I really know that. b) B probably feels like a total jackass and that makes me feel better (it is good to lift yourself up on the misfortunes of others!) and, most importantly, c) even if B and W do think I'm clueless, that's their right. I know that I'm not and I don't need external validation (especially from people like them) to know that. bottom line: what they think of me is not what I think of me. it doesn't define who I am and it's not going to ruin my day. so while B will probably lose a bit of sleep over his fauxpaus, I'm gonna be just fine.

so the deal on the place is that the listing agent said the other offer(s) look solid and everything (I think) is set to close on the 15th (or maybe it was the 19th?). so in another two weeks (or so) I'll know for sure on the place.

I'm trying to look at this as a win-win no matter what happens. if I get the place then it's a win and if I don't, well, it was kinda at the top of my price range anyway so at least I won't be poor. that's a good feeling after the spendy weekend I had. unfortunately, all of the spending was on food so I have nothing really to show for it except for tighter pants.

the (notsomuchofa) saga continues

the house thing really isn't a saga but it's more dramatic to think of it that way.

to keep you up to date: yesterday, my backup offer became the official backup offer after which my realtor said (almost a little too enthusiastically) "let's hope their other offer CRASHES!"

guess he gets paid to take the karmic hit for me. good to know.

so today I went to look at a house (townhouse, actually)and totally fell in love with it. I went to make an offer and found out that, after two days on the market, the place was already under contract.

total bummer. total, total bummer. I've looked at 20 places in boulder thus far and have only found one that I wanted. if you count the places I looked at in Denver... well then I'm at close to 40 places. and nothing. no magic. no "this is the one." none of that.

what makes it more of a bummer is that there's not one really solid thing in my life right now. it's all sort of up in the air and uncomfortable (except for my health. I do have that.).

I know that one day, I'll find myself in one of those spots where everything is just clicking and coming together. birds are singing. skies are blue. etc, etc. however, I'm not there right now and I've gotta say, I'm getting a little impatient to be there.

[big sigh]

afraid of me right now

I'm a little afraid of me right now because, for whatever reason, I am soooooooooooooooo hungry.

my work peeps and I are going to chick-fil-a for lunch today but because someone had a meeting until 12:30, we can't go until 12:30. 12:30 is not so late but still, I'm sooooooooooooooo hungry. you know, to the point where I really can't think of anything else besides food.

so is there a real reason I'm hungry or is it just because I can't go to chick-fil-a now and instead have to wait?

ups and downs

yesterday (and the day before that, and the day before that) was beautiful - sunny, 80 degree weather, and not a cloud in the sky. right now, it's snowing.

this morning, walking from my car to work, I put my hand in my coat pocket and pulled out nine dollars. I was so excited that I said, out loud, to the no one around, "there's money in here!"

then this afternoon, we had a 1.75 hr "all hands meeting" that was totally boring but that I wasn't able to skp because the v.p. of my department flagged me down 20 min. before the meeting and asked me to set up chairs.

so like any good, recovering catholic, I sat in the back row and tried not to fidget too much. I also didn't pay attention too much either. instead, I spent most of the entire time contemmplating my life.

I don't necessarily recommend doing this. what good can come from 1.75 hrs of self-examination when one is trapped in an uncomfortable seat in an uncomfortable room? certainly not much. but I suppose that's the ebb and flow of life, the natural cycle of things, the battle for equilibrium...

so what am I really saying? I guess I'm saying that I might be a bit bummed right now but I'm still happy about the nine dollars.

see what I mean?

is it wrong that I just looked up how to nominate someone for what not to wear? does that make me a bad friend or a good friend?

I assure you my motivation is coming from a place of love. (and I also want to say there are days when I could be a good candiate for the show so it's not like I think I'm doing that much better) but I honestly don't think that anyone in their 30's (or anyone for that matter) should be wearing holiday sweaters. where do you even go to buy those things?

anyway, I had to fill out this form with my date of birth and then the site said "you are not old enough to fill out an application." so... um... I know I'm still not old enough to be president but exactly how old do you have to be to nominate someone for the show?

a light at the end of whatever

it's been a rough past few days - mean guy at work. off again with Boy (seriously, let's just pick an option already). housing search in one of the most expensive markets in the country ($238,000 for that? are you sure I can close the bedroom door once my bed's inside?). and other assorted issues.

but alas, life is not so bad. there are four straight episodes of the office on tonight.!

still on it

let's remember back to one of my blog posts from last year where I asked that we at least consider allowing deconsider to be a word.

none of you really agreed with me. well... I subscribe to Merriam-Webster's word of the day email and today's word is disremember. and that's pretty close to deremember which is close to deconsider.

that said, I think we should reconsider deconsider. if you're still against it, perhaps we could compromise on disconsider (which I think is actually already a word)?

does anyone else think it's a little unfair to have not-so-amature people on shows where the whole point is to watch amatures do things?

I know I'm being a bit abstract but let me illustrate my point: Kristi Yamaguchi on Dancing with the Stars. now I have nothing against Kristi Yamaguchi. she's talented and seems like a nice person. but, isn't she really only a step away from being a professional dancer? I mean, she basically dances on ice. she has experience with coregoraphy, timing, contorlling her body, and performing for judges, etc so... I guess my point is that this really isn't fair to Penn Jellitte?

not that I've seen him dance. or her either, for that matter. but when I turned on the TV tonight (to immediately switch to reruns of The Office), the TV was on abc and dancing with the stars was on and, well, there you go.

should I stay or should I go?

so I've started looking for my own place. I've been out and about checking out properties the past two weekends. I had sorta kinda decided that I wanted to live in Denver instead of Boulder but now I'm questioning that decision.

what reasons do I have to live in Denver? it's more diverse and a lot cheaper. those are two good reasons. there's more culture, too and I like that. and did I mention it's more diverse?

but there are reasons to stay in boulder too. I work here. property is pretty much guaranteed to appreciate nicely (everyone here is absurdly well off and because you're not allowed to develop any new land). and the meager life I have in Colorado is here in Boulder. it's also beautiful and chill. and those are all good things.

so now, I'm basically having a bit of a freakout about what to do. part of me thinks I should move to Denver and part of me thinks that if I do, I'll be totally lonely and it will be a repeat (though on a smaller scale) of my move from PA to CO two years ago. that was definitely one of the rougher times in my life and I don't really want to repeat it.

I'm also worried that one of the things pushing me towards Denver is Boy. he and I have been kind of on and off and then more off and then, somehow, back on over the past few months. he lives in Denver (owns a place there) and I think he thinks we'd be completely on if we lived closer. thinking about this rationally, I think it's crap. it's not like we live thousands of miles away. it's like 25. and what difference is a 30 minute commute to Boulder vs. a 20 minute commute to another part of Denver really going to make? probably not much.

so since realizing that Boy could be about half of why I'm thinking about Denver, I'm basically having a bit of a freakout about what to do. maybe the Denver decision is completely wrong. and god knows I don't want to make a decision (like buying a house) for a relationship that's only so-so.

I guess there's the option of renting a place in Denver, seeing how it goes, and going from there but honestly, I'm 33, prices are low, and I've been a renter for way too long. it's time for some stability and funky paint colors.

so, what to do, what to do, what to do? opinions welcome...

an exciting day in the sleepy town

so today, this happened right across the street from my apartment. unfortunately, I was at work and got home just a little too late to see the remote control robot thing detonate (or hose off or whatever) the package in the park. Abby was here all day though, and seemed unimpressed by it all. I guess when you get to be her age, you've sort of seen it all.

look at me when you're talking to me!

so I'm watching TV and a commercial for prostate shrinking drugs comes on. the commercial's topic isn't important but it's one of those commercials that are supposed to be an intimate conversation between the protagonist and the audience. (really, would you want to have an un-intimate conversation about prostate shrinking drugs?)

in the middle of the commercial, the camera switches from a straight-on perspective to a a side perspective. the protagonist keeps talking to the straight-on camera which means the audience is now looking at him from the side as he talks to someone else. but hey... you were just talking to me! why am I not me anymore? why am I now some second, unengaged observer? this has been a trend in commercials for a few years now and it's creeped me out the entire time. it's totally contrived and unnatural but they try to play it off like it is natural in some way and you can tell they think they're being cool with it all. it bugs me.

I've noticed this mostly in financial and prostate/e.d. drug related commercials, which, you could argue, are targeted at men. so now I'm thinking maybe if I were a guy, I wouldn't care? or even notice? maybe it's one of those things that's on the x chromosome...

I don't want to be followed by the weather

I'm working from home today and right now, the TV is on. (I don't usually start work until 8:00 so this is sort of my warm-up period where I read email and ease into things so it's okay that the TV is on...)

it just so happens that good morning america is on* and Dianne Sawyer was just interviewing this guy who apparently faked his own disappearance because he was running for congress (or maybe some other elected office) and wasn't doing so well. it seems he faked the situation (which was pretty elaborate and involved him giving himself frostbite) in an attempt to gain the sympathy of the voters and win the election.

but he got caught. didn't win the election. and is now facing some kind of legal ramifications. the dude was definitely having a tough time with the interview. Dianne's soft but stern understanding was too much for him, I guess. he couldn't keep it together and started crying on national TV.

Dianne thanked him for joining her then said (in a deep, calm voice) "it truly is a perplexing case..." then, (in a much peppier voice) "now for the weather!"

it's a skill, for sure, to be able to go from tragedy to witty banter and weather. but man, if you're the tragedy, the sunshine in the west has gotta make you feel even worse, don't you think?

* two things to note: 1. notice I said "good morning america is on" not "I turned good morning america on." and 2. Neil, you've already made fun of me for this so don't do it again.

for that kind of money, people shouldn't be going to the bathroom in my bedroom

so I've started to poke around at homes to buy. well, homes in Denver and condo type things in Boulder because Boulder is on the expensive side. not super, crazy, out of control like parts of California but still, on the expensive side.

being as afraid of commitment as I am, I haven't contacted a real estate agent or anything like that. I'm just looking at listings online. my officemate is really interested in me buying a place (I think it's a chance for him to live vicariously through my spending) so he sent an email to an agent about a property we saw online this morning (I swear, we sometimes work). in his email he said that he had a friend who was looking for a place and he gave her some specs on me like price range and that I want to live walking distance from a coffee shop (I do. I really do.) and so she emailed back a few listings that she had. this was one of them (search on #529809). hmm... ~$218,000 for 604 sq. ft.? so I went here (on page 2) to look at the floor plan.

my only comment: "$218,440 and everyone who comes to visit me has to pee in my bedroom?" that just doesn't seem right.

I'm only gloating because I have nothing better to do today.

My city is smarter than yours.

Although is it really? I don't necessarily think having a degree means you're smart. Often, it simply means your parents had enough money to send you to college.

But in case that's not enough, my city can also run faster than yours.

And do more push-ups.

So we totally win.

There's a first time for everything

So... happy Super Tuesday everyone!

As you probably know, I live in Colorado and this year, Colorado is part of the whole super Tuesday thing. But what you probably don't know, and what I only found out recently, is that Colorado is a caucus state. Wtf, right? Yeah, tell me about it.

Being the good Democrat that I am, I had planned to go the caucus and participate and blah, blah, blah. But this morning, I found out that one of my friends was/is the captain of our precinct. That means that he was running the caucus for our precinct. And, of course, that means I got roped into helping out.

First there was the sign making. And then the registering people. And then the actual caucusing. I was officially the caucus secretary which, btw, is an elected position and a position that involves more math than you would expect. There were about five times more participants than expected and the scene turned into what can best be described as white collar pandemonium. Funny how the more people you have in a group, the lower the collective I.Q.

But in the end, it all worked out. Our precinct had cookies and apple juice which made us the best one. I take credit for this because when my friend J. asked if I wanted to help, my response was "Will there be free cookies? If so, I'm totally in." There weren't nearly as many crazies as I thought there would be although we had a few (and the crazies were all about the cookies!). There were random, impromtu speeches. There was some changing of minds. And there was one guy for Kucinich and believe it or not, he wasn't one of the crazies.

I'm officially an alternate precinct delegate so if one of the delegates can't make it to the county convention in March, I get to go cast my vote. The woman I'm an alternate for didn't seem too sure she wanted to do this so I think there's a good shot I might actually go. If it's half as interesting as the caucus tonight... well, that will totally suck.

So... what else is there to say? It was an interesting evening but honestly, I really do think that caucusing is a pain in the butt. But, it's totally worth it.

It's hard not to wonder

Abby (my dog) is doing kind of old these days. (Yes, that's right - I said "doing old" on purpose.)

For the past three or four months, she's been slowly but steadily declining. Stairs are hard if not impossible these days. As is getting in and out of the car. But aside from that sort of thing, she's still very much her. Her personality is still intact. She still does the stubborn things she's always done. She still attacks the vacuum cleaner. And she's still eating (a lot!). Because of the mixed signals, I can't tell how she's really doing; Is she in pain? Does she still enjoy her life? Does she still want to be around?

The past few nights, it seems like she's been having trouble sleeping and I'm wondering if she's in pain or if it's something else that's wrong. Abby has an acupuncture appointment on Friday and so I'm also wondering if I should have, you know, "the" conversation with my vet. I don't want Abby to be suffering. I don't want her to be alive if she doesn't want to be alive. But I don't want to end things if she still wants to be a part of them.

This is what thought about all weekend. And, honestly, I have no idea what to do. So...

There's a place in Boulder called the Psychic Horizons Center (and just now, I'm wondering if I haven't blogged about this before) and they do pet readings on Wednesday nights. I'm not sure there will ever be a better time than this to have one of these readings done. But... well... well... you know... well... lots of things.

Maybe I'll just give you the description of the whole thing and leave it at that:

A group of readers, will communicate with your pet and read it's aura to help it heal and increase awareness about any issues or problems the animal is having. Learn about your agreement with your pet this lifetime (what you have each come to teach each other), past lives and deepen your relationship with your special friend.

Bring your pet or its picture. (Please do not bring cats into the center, they are happier at home!)
Allow at least one hour for the session.
Please have your pet in a pet carrier or on a leash for it's protection when you bring it to the center!

Certain death

I work near the Boulder reservoir and sometimes go running on the trails around the res. during lunch. Several of the trails are blocked off by fences with signs that say something like “Certain death upon entry.” Apparently, a dog died there a few years ago, hence the fences and the signs so it’s not as dangerous as one might thing. Still, it’s always a little upsetting to be told you’re close to certain death, whether you are or not, especially when you’re not expecting at all.

My officemate and I have fallen into the habit of doing our I Ching readings almost every day. We have the book and the coins and ask our quiet questions the way would ask a magic 8-ball.

As you may know, it’s been a busy week at work and I’m totally exhausted. Still, I didn’t go snowboarding last weekend (the only weekend this year that I haven’t) so I thought about heading up tomorrow for a half day. I was planning to go up on my own and take a lesson so I could brush up on my turning skills, maybe hit the half pipe. (Anyone who’s ever been snowboarding with me will think the idea of me in the half pipe is funny but don’t laugh. The last time I took a lesson (the only snowboarding lesson I’ve ever had) they took us in the half pipe at the end of the day and I did okay. There were no twists or turns or things like that. Just some “workin the wall”.)

But like I said before, I’m exhausted. So this morning I decided to ask the I Ching “Should I go snowboarding tomorrow?” The hexagram I got for my reading was Tun, which means retreat. The summary section to my reading went exactly like this: This is a time for disengagement and retreat. In stillness you are out of the reach of danger.”

Wow. So no snowboarding for me this weekend. I’ll be at the library instead.

two years and counting

yesterday was my two year anniversary of living in Boulder. that means my blog has been around for two years too. that's a long time and it sort of explains why I've grown a bit tired of this sort of thing and haven't posted in a while.

however, a friend (who shall remain nameless but I know you know who you are) and I both made new years resolutions to write more. because we have the same resolution, we thought we could peer pressure each other into writing more. it worked for a few weeks (I was writing in a journal, not the blog so you couldn't see that I was writing but I was) but recently, it's all fallen apart. however, we made an agreement to both write today and so to make sure that I did it, I committed to the post.

anyway, you don't need to know all of that. but see, I'm rusty so I'm not so in tune with what it is that you want. but, so getting to the point... I've mostly been exhausted recently. there are many, many, many things going on at work, which is a good thing. after spending my first year and a half out here not using my brain at work, I appreciate being able to use it these days.

this week we've had a huge sales/education event going on so I've had to do a lot of meet-and-greet type stuff. I don't want to make it sound like I'm being fake - I really do enjoy meeting new people and I've been having lots of fun - but for me, being an extrovert takes a lot of energy. I can do it for a short period of time and then I'm drained. I've had about five straight days of the stuff right now and I'm more than ready for some quiet time.

tonight we had dinner with the creative agency that works with the marketing department. it was sort of the pinacle of the week - the last real event - like the last mile in a 10K. you know you're almost there and that's a great feeling. however, you know you still have like 15% more to go. and that's still something. it's still work. it's still a little awkward. there are still moments of uncomfortable silence.

however, the agency peoople are cool, fun people from san fran and I feel a general sense of comfort with all of them and I don't quite know why. I think, perhaps, I'm too comfortable with them, sharing too much, treating these people as if they're my friends when really, they're just taking my company's money. but maybe I shouldn't over think it.

we went to a place in town called the kitchen which is excellent and cozy and elegant and comfortable all at the same time. I ate too much, talked too much, and drank just the right amount. it was a good night, I guess, as far as business dinners go. as I was walking home alone after dinner, already imagining myself in my pj's, I saw what I thought was a cat scamper across the street beneath the street light. but as I got closer, the creature stopped in its tracks and doubled back, crossing the street again just a few feet in front of me. this time I could see it wasn't a cat but a fox - sleek and alert and, well, what else is there to say? sometimes I get so sick of boulder but sometimes, at moments like that, or moments like this morning when the pink sunrise was shining off the snowy flatirons, I think there's no better place to be.

in case you're wondering, the dog, Boy, and I made it back to Colorado just fine afer the holidays, which seems like such a long time agon now. while I was there, I got to meet my nephew and he was super cute. there are some pictures of him on my flickr account if you want to see what I mean.

since being back, I haven't been up to much except work and the occasional day of snowboarding. the past two weekends I've been up to the mountains and I've gotta say, it's great to live out here. (btw, Neil, it was good to see you two weekends ago and get a dose of your east coast smart-assness on ice.)

I've also been working on my new year's resolutions (or is it years? or years'?) I don't usually make them but this year I thought I needed to. they are (in no particular order):

1. run like three times a week (yes, I said "like" so that when I only run twice, I don't need to feel bad.)
2. say fewer negative things about people (I'm not going to be nice. just less mean. btw, this one isn't going so well...)
3. attend fewer meetings (work related, obviously, and trickier than one might think)
4. write more - five days a week to be exact. Marisa is in on this one with me and we're trying to peer pressure each other into making it happen. from the sound of things, I think she's doing fine. me on the other hand... well, I've kinda been writing a sentence each day. is that okay?

though honestly, one of my most recent sentences was something like "do you think it's possible for one to contemplate one's eyebrows too much?" I wrote that while I was working from home on Friday. me thinks working from home too much can make one crazy, which would sort of explain some of the "self-employed" people I've met out here.

anyway, I have actually been writing in a journal/diary type thing (what's the difference, you ask? actually, a recent article in the New Yorker talked about it a bit.) and so there's less "writing" or whatever this is in the blog (on the blog?). anyway, I'm sure you're all busy with your resolutions too so who has time to read this anyway. unless your resolution was to read my blog more, in which case, I think we're all in trouble.

refusing to give it up

so... here's the deal. logical arguments aside, if lolcat can be a word, why can't deconsider?

the gut of our country

like most of us, our country has a problematic midsection.

after two days of chaotic travel, through horrible weather in the midwest, I finally made it into Pittsburgh around 8:00 last night. Boy and I left Colorado around 2:00 pm on Friday, beating out the blizzard conditions that plagued eastern colorado and western nebraska by only a few hours.

that night, we stopped at a motel 6 in some small, Iowa town. abby must have eaten some dirty snow in the parking lot because the minute we got in the room, she tossed her doggie cookies. oh my. it was after midnight. I was exhausted. but I cleaned it up and got ready for bed. so... we were in a non-smoking room so imagine my surprise when I pulled down the sheets and discovered a cigarette lighter in the bed. so very many questions that I don't even want to think about.

the next day, Boy and I drove to his parents' house in Wisconsin. it was so nice to be in a clean, homey place where people fed us. abby was happy too. Boy, prankster that he is, took the lighter from the motel 6 and put it under the comforter at his parents' place. I was so tried an exhausted (yes, I know that's redundant) that when I discovered the lighter, I was a little freaked out - speechless even - for about ten seconds. seriously, is that thing following me?

it was windy as heck though for the ENTIRE trip. poor abby. every time we stopped to let her stretch her legs, it was all she could do to keep herself upright in the crazy conditions.

in addition to the wind, after dropping Boy off in Wisconsin (lots of cheese there, btw), I dealt with a five mile stretch of black-iced highway in Ohio, frozen windshield washer fluid (at some point outside of Milwaukee, I literally couldn't see a thing and I really, honestly, thought I was going to die), and crazy (CRAZY) traffic in Chicago, just to name a few things. abby was a trooper through it all. what a good dog.it was funny though - she hasn't been in PA for two years. when she got out of the car, she definitely knew where she was but she was just so confused by it. she kept looking at me like "how the heck did we get here?"

the trip wasn't all bad though. I had a super yummy egg nog latte in Ohio. but by far, my favorite thing about the trip was the guy in the car in front of me at the toll booth in Chicago. he was driving a powder blue jaguar with creamy leather interior. he had a red, plush hat with a pompom on top and some kind of red fur coat. at first, I thought he might be a little old lady but when he opened the door to pay his toll (he was that kinda guy - door, not window), I saw the numerous gold rings on his fingers and I knew he was a pimp daddy!

god, I miss diversity.

let's at least consider it

can anybody (Cara or Marisa) please tell me why is deconsider not considered a word?

I work with a woman from Brazil. she's very fluent in English but she has an occasional "slip-up," I guess you could say, and these are always interesting and fun for me to over think.

yesterday she sent me an email telling me to "deconsider" something she had written in a previous email. while deconsider is not a word, I knew exactly what she was meant. when I met with this woman, I mentioned that decosider wasn't a real word (although it should be) and so she asked me 1) how I knew what it meant if it wasn't a real word and 2) what she should use. I understood what she meant because deconsider follows grammatical rules I was taught in second grade (which is probably how she put it together in the first place and I told her to go with "disregard" or "ignore" instead.

but honestly, I think we should be allowed to say "deconsider." think about it - disregard and ignore are present tense things. you can ignore or disregard something in the present moment but what if you want to erase the memory of something, not just let it sit off in the corner? if you've already told someone to consider something and then you want them to forget about it, shouldn't they then deconsider it?

really, honestly, they should. and anyone who's picky about rules and whatnot, please tell me what rules deconsider might violate? none that reconsider doesn't as well.

so you know how I've been in search of a new hobby? I'm thinking my new hobby should be to use deconsider so much that it eventually makes its way into the dictionary as an accepted word. who's with me?!

it's been about a month since my last post and to sum up - I've been up to a lot of things, none of which are quilting. however, I'll be home in PGH for a week (next week) and that may just be the perfect time to start, especially because my mom has a sewing machine and I don't.

but who am I kidding? we all know I'm going to spend next week luxuriating in all the oxygen and tax-free shopping.

I'm actually driving back to PA (please pray for good weather). I've decided to drive and not fly because I can bring Abby with me. at 12.5, she's past the age expectancy for a dog her size and I just couldn't bear to leave her at a kennel. and... although she's basically a piece of furniture that ocassionally moves around my apartment, she's a little high maintenance; there are lots of medicines. she has to be carried up stairs. and she wears tinkle trousers when I'm gone because, now that she's old, she gets mad pissed off when I leave her alone and, well, pisses. so she's really too much to have anyone else watch.

20+ hours of driving (each way) is a lot so I hope those of you in Pittsburgh will understand when I'm not excited to drive to your far away homes. don't get me wrong, I'm excited to see all of you! I just hope we can meet... hmm... well... we'll work it out somehow.

and the winner is...

quilting?

can you sense my certainty?

still, I think it's a good choice because what I think is good about quilting is what I think is good about knitting; you (in theory) produce usable/consumable items.

however, I can't help but think that every quilt I attempt is going to turn out like every latch hook rug I ever started and that means unfinished. still, I'm excitied to get started!

in need of hobby

I spent a lot of time doing nothing this holiday weekend. I very much enjoy doing nothing. there's so much something going on most of the time that nothing is usually a nice change. I watched football, ate a lot of food, visited my local library, and watched the first season of The West Wing (oh how I loved The West Wing back in the day!). but while nothing is generally good, I do somethimes get bored with it and, yesterday afternoon, I wondered if I shouldn't find something to do while I'm doing nothing, what some people might call a hobby.

at first I thought: knitting but I feel like knitting became quite trendy a few years ago so now I'm wondering if I should find some other hobby to pass my time and get myself on the cusp of whatever might be trendy next. but what might that be?


macrame?

catalog irony

I'm beginning to think that the Design within Reach catalog (and store) is meant to be taken ironically because how could you think that a $250 pillow is within walking distance, let alone within reach?

fun at work

Mine!,
originally uploaded by leeann.ie.

on tuesday, we had a pumpkin carving contest at work. my team's pumpkin didn't win but I think that's because ours looked way better lit up than it did just plain like this.

a moment of silence

last night I went to see David Sedaris. it was incredibly funny and touching as his essays are and it's been a long time since I laughed that hard for that long. if you ever have a chance to see David Sedaris live, I recommend you do it. unfortunately, Denver was Sedaris' 31st stop on a 32 city tour so unless you are going to be in Boston on Friday night (which a few of you actually might be) you're going to have to wait until the next time around.

at the end of the evening, to fill some time, Sedaris read us a funny entries from his diary: "September 25, 2007 - to mark the occasion of Marcel Marceau's passing, I observed a moment of silence."

the laughter that entry got was roughly equivalent to the imaginary laughter my miming bit received which is to say there was lots of it.

anyway, it's halloween night and I'm home alone watching ghost hunters. I usually can't watch shows like this by myself because I get too freaked out, even when there's nothing scary. people whispering in the dark is enough to do it and I have no idea why this is. it's a live episode tonight so that may be why I'm able to watch it on my own - they've gotta edit out a lot of nothingness and dumb comments that make no sense to come up with the finished product. for example:

dude #1 - hey! watch out!!!!
dude #2 - what?
dude #1 - that's like a 100 ft. drop over there!
dude #2 - yeah, but I'm like 10 feet away.
dude #1 - well that's 10 feet too far!

um...

to distract myself from all the scariness, I'm baking pumpkin cookies that are really sort of like muffin tops. yummy. they are cooling right now and then the final step is to drizzle them with dark chocolate. more yummy.

gone baby, gone

I officially sold my Jetta today. he was on the market for less than a week. only a few days, really. I posted him on the Denver Craig's List Saturday morning and I had an offer by Sunday night.

I definitely got a little sentimental about the whole thing. letting kyle go was like letting go of eight very meaningful years of my life, years through which I changed profoundly and became me. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to that part of my life and so I lingered over the paper work, explained the car keys, demonstrated the glove compartment. the buyers were unphased and seemed like they wanted to hurry things along. the whole transaction only took about ten minutes, which wasn't nearly long enough.

I wanted to give kyle a hug before they pulled away with him but I thought that might be interpreted badly so I just patted him and said goodbye.

the buyers could have cared less about my sentimentality. they were eager to get my car and start their fun and I have to tell you, I was a little insulted by it all. you know the worst part about it? they drove kyle away like they owned him or something.

why wouldn't we?

so at work we've been talking about using wikis to share/store knowledge and I put together a little presentation to try to convince my boss that a wiki is the way to go. I thought only he and one other person would see the presentation so I made it a personal goal to use as many double-yous as possible in the presentation with slides that answered questions like "why would we want a wiki at work?" I guess the other individual liked the wiki idea and so she passed the presentation (and all of it's w's) on to her entire department. wow.

Too bad, Lee Ann

tonight, instead of going to my monday night yoga class, I decided to kick back and have have some me time. I turned on the TV to decompress and then went to get some dinner together. I wasn't really paying attention to what was on TV but then I heard someone say my name... I know my name isn't that uncommon but it's uncommon enough that when I hear someone say it, I look because chances are they're talking to (or about) me.

it turns out jeopardy was on and one of the contenstants was named Lee Ann. I was going to change the channel but I noticed that Lee Ann spelled her name the same way that I do (most other Lee Anns aren't really Lee Anns. they're Leigh Anne's or Le Annes or whatever). I felt an immediate kinship with this Lee Ann and Lee Ann was in the lead. I kept watching and Lee Ann kept winning. that Lee Ann was smart. however, she blew it all at the end when she failed to get the answer "the art of war." too bad, other Lee Ann. this Lee Ann would have gotten that one.

you know, I haven't visited my blog in a while and I forgot that I had added that clock. how annoying is that thing? I'm totally getting rid of that...

so, let's see - what have I been up to in the past few weeks... not much I guess and I think that's good. the times in my life when I've felt less content have been the times where I felt like I needed to achieve more. a few weeks ago, I ran into an aquaintance that I hadn't seen in a few months. he is a troubled individual, sort of angry at the world, and although her tries to make it seem like he has such a fun an exciting life, you can just tell he's unhappy inside. he asked me what I'd been up to and I said "the usual" to which his response was "so nothing to exciting then?" geez. so yeah, I don't have anything major going on but I have an incredible sense of contentment right now and that's one of the best feelings in the world.

anyway, I think the biggest thing I've been up to lately has been shopping for a new car. this is hard. I hate car shopping. hate it. hate it. hate it. I've had my Jetta for eight years, partially because it's a good car and is completely fine and partially because I hate car shopping. I'll spare you the details of the annoying sales people I've dealt with and all the decisions I've been struggling with and I'll sum it up by saying I think I'm going to get a honda element. I know, I know. I know. it's a box on wheels. and it's kind of ugly. I was soooooo very against one of these cars until my officemate convinced me to atleast go check one out. he and his wife have one and the love it. think it's the coolest car ever. so yesterday I went and checked one out.

and you know what? it was very cool. sort of maybe the perfect car for one who lives in colorado and, last weekend, bought a season ski pass! now the question is: what color do I want? do I want to go crazy and get the orange or the green or do I play it safe with something like blue or grey?

and one more thing

did anyone else out there, upon hearing the news that marcel marceau had passed away, react by miming sadness or was that just me?

it's the weekend, and you know what that means

another weekend and that means another race... this time we did the Panerathon 5k. it was a more "challenging" course than last weekend (there were hills) so I ended up three seconds slower than last week. that's such a bummer. however, I did totally blow past this woman on the last hill and I could sort of feel her spirit crumble as I ran by and that was kind of nice.

this week I tried to do an interval workout during the race to see if that made me any faster (you know, one minute on, one minute off, two on, two off, three on, three off, repeat...) I think that's a bad idea during a race. the only thing it seemed to do was mess with the other runners around me. serioulsy, I could tell it was freaking people out. sor-ree.

next week I think we're doing some kind of dinky 5k on Saturday which means I'll get to sleep in on Sunday. yea!!!!!! I can't remember the last time I had a relaxing, sit on the couch and do nothing Sunday. ah... can't wait!

too much drama

about a year ago, I was completely hooked on grey's anatomy. I watched it religiously every week and, if I could be around for the "live" show, I'd make sure I caught it some other way. however, as the season went on, I found myself watching it less and less. I'm not sure if it was the unbelievable dramas with which the characters are confronted or the unbelievable whininess with which the characters deal with their problems that began to bug me. whatever the case, I didn't even bother to watch the season finale. or the episode before that. or the episode before that, or the episode before that...

last night I was home building some furniture that I just bought so I turned on the TV. Ugly Betty was on and I definitely have a soft spot for that show. Ugly Betty was followed by the season finale of grey's. I watched it. and it was bad. full of unnecessary and unbelievable plots and lots of bad acting. so the question is, what's changed? is it me or is it the show? me thinks it's me but me don't know.

anyway, I'm pretty excited about this weekend: Jen and Noble are driving through town on their way from CA to PA and they're staying with me from Sunday night until Tuesday! however, I've got a lot cleaning to before they get here...

oh, and I'm also running in another 5K. last weekend, I was second in my age group (and there were more than two of us!). this weekend, I just want to run faster than I did last weekend. and who knows, maybe one of these weekends I'll be the only one in my age group and you know what that means - I win!

I think it's time

for me to actually own my own place.

on Friday, I sort of had this epiphany, gut feeling, whatever, that I should look into buying a place. not a house. more like a condo or townhouse type thing. and probably not in Boulder. more like in Denver. in a quaint city neighborhood like the one I lived in in Pittsburgh. after a year and a half, I'm kinda done with Boulder. for a young, non-married person, childless person, this place only really makes sense for a few years. don't get me wrong, it's great and all, in some ways. but in some ways, it's just bizarre. so many of the other young, non-married, childless people here are searching for "something." in fact, I'd say that about 80% of the young, non-married, childless people here are searching for "something."

granted, we've all had times in our lives when we've been searching for something and I think that during those times, people are more, hmm... shall we say self-centered? so imagine living in a town that's full of self-centered people.then, on top of that, imagine living in a town where you have to be understanding and mindful of other people's self-centeredness. plus this place is just so small and homogeneous.

so, I've been doing some browsing on-line and getting excited about the prospect of finally getting to pick my own paint colors. today I got a recomendation for a real estate agent in Denver. the next step is working up the courage to call. this could be hard, given my committment issues and my difficulty making big, life changing decisions. however... I think it's time.

smaller numbers all around

another sunday, another race. this time, we did a 5K (so that's smaller mileage) and I ran a lot faster than last week (like 1.5 minutes a mile faster) and, my bib number this week was 10 (last week it was 11). so there you have it. smaller numbers all around. that's a good thing.

next week Boy and I tackle the Panerathon - a 5K sponsored by Panera bread with free food at the end!

where do you live?

I feel like this is an abbot and costello routine waiting to happen.

A: "Where do you live?"

C; "I live on A street."

A: "Well I know you live on a street but which street?"

C: "A street."

A: "No, no, no. What's the name of you're street?"

C: "I already told you. It's A street!"

See what I mean?

happy football season everyone!

yes, that's right, it's started again. football season is here. and, having a dad who had season tickets for the Steelers and only had daughters, I was raised to like football.

the Steelers' posse reconviened today after a long break and it made me realize that I kinda like hanging out with guys sometimes. I haven't seen these guys in almost a year but did any of them question our friendship? wonder what was wrong and if were mad at them? think that I had wronged them by not talking to them for so long? nope. just a simple "good to see you again. how've you been?" and everything was good. oh, and the Steelers won. that's always good too.

I didn't make it to the the game until late in the second quarter because Boy and his brother made me run in a 10K in Nederland, Co this morning (which is like 8,400 ft.). I know this race was at high altitude and all but man, I used to be in way better shape... despite the fact that boot camp has started up again (yes, I'm doing it AGAIN), I'm considering running in some kind of race every weekend from now until... well, until I don't feel like it anymore. this feeling may pass quickly but for now, I'm considering another 10K at the Res. in Boulder next weekend. it's only $20 to enter and you get a shirt. sign me up!

words I never thought I'd say and mean

"I could really use a thimble right now."

the shirt

I've been watching a lot of the U.S. Open these past few days and I'm absolutely fascinated by the fact that in almost every men's match, at least one of the guys is wearing this shirt. in one of the matches over the weekend, both guys were wearing "the shirt" in the same color.

interestingly enough, the shirt has a fairly high sucess rate. it almost always wins. there's gotta be something to that.

spoke too soon?

okay, so thank all of you who have expressed concern over my potentially problematic personal position this past weekend. the good news is that things with Boy are on the mend. after a few days of thinking about it all, Boy and I got together and had one of those really good conversations where you feel connected with and therefore closer to the person you're talking with. I've got to tell you, it restored my faith in humanity a bit which I needed, given what I've dealt with the past three years.

after two disastrous relationships and a few failed friendships with individuals who did things like used a spreadsheet to keep track of the status/value of their friendships and or got crazy, freaky, upset because they didn't get their way, I was beginning to think that people (or the people I tend to find myself around) just sort of suck. (not you guys, of course. you guys are all awesome!)

it's not so much that I thought people suck, more that a lot of people are stuck in their own drama and couldn't give two hoots (or even one) about anybody else. I think this is true about a certain percentage of the population and, unfortunately, a large portion of that certain percentage live in boulder (but that's a topic for another post). I was beginning to think that Boy was one of these people and it's so nice to know that he's not. it's also nice to have that core connection to someone, where you're able to see each other for everything you are, good, bad, and the stuff in between, even if that connection lasts for just for a moment, so long as you get a moment every now and then.

you could probably tell from my last post that things have gotten a little iffy with me and Boy. while all relationships have rough patches, I think it's safe to say this is more than a patch. and, looking back on my blog entries, I can't help but return to the quiz my friends m&m invented for me last summer. Boy did not pass the quiz and I probably should have respected those results. sigh...

okay, so Boy's parents are in town this weekend and I've been tagging along to a lot of their events. they are nice people. lovely people, in fact. however, it's been a bit tough for me and I know that Boy would never understand why. for various reasons, I've had a hard time feeling like I'm even part of my own family so spending so much time with someone else's family feels strange to me. on top of that, Boy's brother, David, also lives in Boulder so there's four of them and one of me and I can't help but feel like the fifth wheel, especially when I'm the one sitting at the special chair that's been added to the end of the four person table.

through the personal narrative called my life, I've come to discover that I'm a bit of a loner (probably more than a bit). while I enjoy social interactions and what have you, I'm just very used to having time to myself and it feels really, really uncomfortable when I don't get it. sometimes it makes me tired. and sometimes I just need some down time. this weekend, I haven't gotten it. but Boy never needs downtime. and Boy doesn't like to be alone. he's a triplet (have I mentioned this before?) and his family is actually normal and happy and not at all disfunctional (which, personally, I consider abnormal) so he just doesn't get why I might be uncomfortable or unhappy (ever). and I know he never will.

so what do you do with a situation like this? sometimes I think it's nearly impossible (through no fault of his own) for him to truly understand the heart of who I am, what I've been through, what I'm feeling, etc. sometimes I think that's bad. and then other times, I think it's good that he's so different and has such a different perspective. it's confusing. it's tough. and it's what I've been thinking about the most lately. sigh...

run away!

it's the end of august and the students are back in town. and that means the town is crazy like an i-hop on Sunday after church gets out.

I needed to go to target today after work to pick up a prescription for Abby. (yes, that's right. my dog shops at target.) however, the parking lot was total chaos, complete with packs of roving frat type guys and gangs of girls with shorts too short and hair too long. I don't know what it is with these types of people but they seem to be unable to both walk and pay attention to the world around them at the same time.

after struggling through the parking lot for five painful minutes, seeing nary an empty spot, I decided to ditch the mission. the craziness of the parking lot was reflected in the traffic around town too but I eventually made it back to the safety of my apartment, slightly north of, and therefore isolated from, the campus/town environment. thank god.

my new plan is to go back to target early on saturday morning, before the students are up and out. but actually, it doesn't have to be that early. I remember when I was an undergrad, I'd get miffed if people were being loud in the dorm before 11:00 on a weekend. seems like sleeping that late would be physically impossible for me now. wow - I think I've maybe grown up...

Colorado's most famous export, next to Coors

I think I may have a 24-hour bug. at least, I hope that's what it is - I'm tired, my body aches, and, despite the fact that it's aproaching 90 outside, I'm cold. part of me wonders if I have west nile. Boy insists that I don't. but I might. we are prone to west nile out here and I have gotten about a zillion mosquito bites in the past month. however, I'm resisting the temptation to look up west nile symptoms on-line because the last time I used Web-MD, I convinced myself that I had menengitus.

so, it's beautiful and sunny out (of course it is) and I'm lying on my couch, under a blanket, being sick. but, this is not a sad thing - a few hours ago, I discovered that there's a Dog the Bounty Hunter marathon on tv. I'm way behind on my New Yorkers, I'm reading like three books right now, and there is the Sunday Times. but a dose of trashy tv is good for you, every now and then, and right now, this is just what the doctor ordered!

Boy and I saw wait, wait, don't tell me last night, which was good. but... I kind of thought that, being at a live taping, there'd be more to it than the normal show, especially since the tickets were like $45 a piece. however, there wasn't. hmm... me thinks public radio is probably doing okay.

anyway, the show was good, none the less, and what was most interesting to me was how spry Carl Kasell is. I wouldn't thought he was the type of guy to run across stage and energetically high-five people but you know what? he is.

in other news, I discovered today that if you go to flickr and search on my ex-husband's name, you'll find a picture of him dressed in black and dancing, by himself, with a white feather boa. um... do you think I should be reading into that at all? what if I tell you that the picture was taken in San Francisco? should I be reading even more into it?

what can I say? I'm on the cutting edge of exercise. read this article to see what I mean.

while exercising this morning, I rode past a u-cut christmas tree place on the way to work and it made me wonder if other languages/cultures substitute single letters for entire words the way that we do. who amongst you would know? Cara would. but she's in Africa right now. hopefully she's keeping up with my blog while on safari.

I also rode past a truck that had a Jobox on the back of it. Jobox, which combines the words job and box into one, seems to be the opposite of the bicapitalization craze that's going on right now. I wonder if, in a few years, the bicapitalization thing will reverse and we'll go with the smushing thing instead? so many questions about language today...

let's see... what else... oh, I've been seeing a lot of humming birds lately which I find interesting. until this year, I had never actually seen a humming bird. others would see them and say "oh my god! a humming bird!" but when I'd turn to look, s/he'd be gone.so far this week I have seen three. I was buzzed by two of them while drinking a beer on the deck of the potbelly restaurant and bar after my first leg of the wild west relay. then I saw another one while I was out for a run earlier this week. they are so little and delicate. and their wings make the most overwhelming sound (especially when they fly close to your head). I am enamored with them right now.

oh! and Boy and I are going to see Wait wait... Don't tell me! tonight. very exciting. even though you've chosen not to hire me twice now, I still love you, NPR.

my toe is bloody

seems to happen every year after I run a lot. yet again, one of my toenails has fallen victim to the wild west relay. what's interesting is that it's a different toe. and actually, I think this one is going to make it (unlike the others that eventually fell off). this may be a gross topic for some of you but hey, it is what it is.

not that you care, but:

right now I am eating the best salad EVER. I bought it this morning at whole foods. it's pre-made and, of course, was a expensive. it's a little salad and I stood in the salad aisle for a while, wondering whether or not this little salad was worth $3.99. I thought it wouldn't be but I bought it anyway. and, to my surprise, I'd say it's actually worth $4.25. super yummy. super, super, super yummy!

hi. I'm an aunt.



isn't he cute? :)

we all have those days at work every once in a while but in my new position, I have this new coworker who seems to be one of those people who, as my friend Mike would say, "lifts herself up on the misfortunes of others" and so she hasn't been the most cooperative/helpful person and so I think my day can best be summed up with this.

anyway, it's not all bad. we ran a timed mile in boot camp today and I shaved almost a minute off my time from four weeks ago. seeing as four weeks ago, my time was 8:30, that's not so bad.

it's the little things

why does it bother me so much when people say things like "purvent" instead of prevent? why do I even notice these things?

I wonder if it bothers those people that I say "intresting" instead of interesting.

life is fun

I just ordered four jumbo inflatable monkeys.

8:19 on Sunday night and again, where has the weekend gone? Well, actually, here's where it went: Friday night Boy and I went to the Boulder Chop House for steak. I've never been on a steak date before and it was kind of fun and utterly indulgent.

Saturday morning we woke up early and headed to the mountains to hike Mt. Bierdstat, one of Colorado's 14ers. It's one of the easier 14ers, only 7 miles round trip and a few thousand feet of elevation gain. It's the second 14er that I've hiked and while it's awesome to make it to the top, I'm not sure I care if I hike another 14er again. I mean, seriously, it's hard to breath up there. On top of that, 14ers aren't really all that pretty. It's incredibly barren and rocky at the top and while you get a good view - neh. It's s'okay. Still, the wild flowers were beautiful on the hike and we got a good sense of accomplishment for the weekend. We also went to the outlets in Silverthorne when we were done. That was good too.

So then today... well today I haven't done a whole lot of much - cleaned a bit, hung out with some friends, watched a lot of Man vs. Wild, and spent some quality time with the doggie. Good stuff. Oh, and I finally uploaded my pictures to flicker. Here they are!

so if you've read the NY Times article below (if you haven't, go read it and then come back to this post): I don't have a lot going on at work right now so I was out on the web, perusing media type websites to try to see learn about the latest trend that will, a few months/years from now, be reversed by the latest trend. while at mediabistro, I noticed they have a section for pictures from their parties and events and so, just for the heck of it and because I recently read that NYTimes article, I took a look at some of them. and... wouldn't you know it but in two out of the three cities I checked out, I found people that I know. three events. two people. I could even say that I found 2.5 people because in the third city, the one guy looked really, really similar to someone I used to know. these 2.5 people are definitely the type of people who would want to be part of the scene, part of the photo installation, etc and I literally laughed out loud at my discoveries. life has funny coincidences like that some times.

I liked this article. it's good.

so my boot camp was on the Today show yesterday as part of a story about boot camps across the country. if you wanna see it, go here , go to Tuesday's Videos, and scroll down until you see "Fitness boot camp gains fans."

I've gotta tell you, ours looks a lot more gentle than the one that's run by the marine guy. Although today we did run up the side of a mountain again. Like ten times. And twice, our cute, perky, blond instructor made us do lunges up the side of the mountain. I asked her if I had accidentally turned into the parking lot for hell instead of the parking lot for the trail. She said she was going to take that as a compliment, then laughed sadistically and told me to do jumping lunges for a minute.

the waiting game

I rode my bike to work today and while it is not actually raining outside, there is thunder type stuff and, most horribly, a strong wind from the west. I ride from east to west to get home so I'm sitting at my desk waiting it out. there's a patch of blue sky off in the distance so about thirty more minutes and I should be good. and that's fine, I need a bit of a break before I ride home. I just got done with a two hour meeting where I took five pages of notes on all of the work I need to get done by January of next year. it's a little overwhelming, but in a good way. however, the crazy thing is... I still don't really have a lot of work to do. because we only recently (last month) became this new company thing that we are, people are still trying to figure out things like our strategy, our direction, our message, etc. until they get those things in place, there's nothing for me to do but sit back, enjoy the meetings and wait for the flood gates to open. not all that different than sitting here waiting for the journey home to begin, hoping the flood gates won't open while I'm on the road.

home again, home again

jiggity jig.

I was once again in Pittsburgh this past weekend. my entire family was in town for a surprise 60th birthday party for my Aunt Judy. I think she was fairly surprised, especially since her birthday isn't for another month.

again, it was sort of a whirlwind, non-stop trip. party on Friday night, breakfast with mom Saturday morning, then lunch with the cousins, haircut, and kennywood all on Saturday. I flew out early Sunday morning and was back in Boulder by noon. I spent the afternoon napping. whew.

this was the first time the whole family has been together in about five years. it's funny how your family has the ability to make you feel more comfortable and at home (and sometimes more crazy) than anybody else. it was a really, really good weekend and I wish I could have stayed for the french toast casserole thing they were all having at brunch on Sunday but I had to be back in Boulder sooner than later. I'll try to get my pictures uploaded in the next day or two...

what, exactly, is linkedin and why are we all using it?

I hate to keep giving you guys boot camp updates all the time but it's probably the most major thing I have going on right now and, well, it's pretty major. this morning we ran up the side of a mountain five times (six if you count the warm up). and if that wasn't enough, in between each run up the mountain, we did all sorts of strength training exercises. I'm starting to think this is slight insanity.

the other major thing is that I've started to start my new job, meaning I've been invited to a lot of meetings. I think that when you're part of the communications department, a good portion of your job is taken up by "communicating" with the rest of the communications department, hence all the meetings. and that's fine with me, so long as there are donuts (or even doughnuts).

not to be disuaded by the bootcamp fatigue, I think boy and I are going for a hike in the mountains this weekend. we were going to go on the 4th of July but we got a good 20 or 30 minutes outside of town when I realized that I had forgotten my shoes. oopsie.

*the opinions expressed in this post are in now way intended to make it seem like I think I'm without flaws.

I've often said that dogs are like people but with more fur.

for the past few days I've been watching my transgendered neighbor's dogs while she's off hiking in the mountains. (now I know you might say "is the fact that she's transgendered really important?" and the answer is that yes, it is. well, maybe it is. anyway, it factors in later so hang in there.) at first this dog (named Harry) comes off as as incredibly social and mellow. he's constantly wagging his tail in a happy little way and wanting me to pet him. however, as I found out Sunday night, there is much unhappiness beneath the little guy's surface.

Sunday was officially Abby's 12th birthday so I had a little party for Abby's doggie friends and their owners. I went to PC's pantry and got special treats for the "kids." I bought frosty paws. and I even made goodie bags for the road (you know, like you used to get at parties in grade school). Harry seemed to be having a good time at the party but then, later that night... Harry (who is something like five or six) tried (a few times) to pick a fight with Abby.

I was brushing my teeth when the first time it happened. I'm guessing the first fight started like the second one (which I saw go down): Harry got a little too close to abby for comfort and she sent out her typical "dude, back off" warning (which is just a tiny little bark). while most dogs react with something like "geez, okay. chill out. I'll go do my own thing..." (we're in Boulder. dogs talk like that here.) instead, Harry's reaction was (head cocked to the side in a punk like way) "oh, so you wanna fight? well we can fight!"

dude, come on. there's just no need.

needless to say, I was incredibly pissed at Harry and he's been spending a lot of time enjoying the view from my balcony these past few days. but then I started to think of the people I've known who have acted the same way: incredibly social, intentionally projecting a laid-back image and then, for seemingly no reason at all, they attack. at first it's bewildering (seriosly, I've never seen Abby look so confused) and then it's just annoying because, and I know I'm repeating myself here, dude, there's just no need.

obviously, the over-socialness is a sign of insecurity and the need for acceptance (Harry's constant need for attention, some people's constant need for attention from the opposite sex, the need to always win everything, etc).

I know that I should feel sorry for these people/dogs. they are confused, insecure, and generally unhappy inside. can harry really help the confusion when his owner is (by no choice of her own) sending out so many mixed signals about who/what she is?

but at the same time, despite what some have thought, my purpose in life (and Abby's) is not for you to work out your issues. I'm not here so that you can try to make yourself feel better by making me feel bad. (and in case you haven't figured it out, making other people feel bad, kind of makes you feel bad too...)

sometimes I think it would make me feel better if these people (and dogs) - and I know you know who you are - could just tell me "you know, I was kind of horrible to you for reasons that had nothing to do with you..." they don't even have to appologize. realizing the behavior is enough. but then I know that part of what makes these people (and dogs) so unhappy is the same thing that will keep them from being able to admit what they've done. and honestly, what makes me feel better is knowing I'm not like them.

hang in their Harry. your mommy(?) is coming for you soon. besides, the view from the balcony is rather nice, isn't it?

movin' on up. and to the east side!

I'm moving this weekend, if you can really call it that. I'm moving to one of the upstairs apartments in my building. so, for the third time in my semi-young life, I'm moving to a different apartment in the same building. I think I have a problem.

I'm moving because the upstairs is just a bit nicer. it's more private, has a better view. and good friends are now next door and across the hall instead of upstairs. as if my apartment building weren't already enough like a dorm. it's only going to get worse.

yesterday, Jessica and I moved most of the easy stuff. the big move with the heavy stuff is today and, as luck would have it, we did 180 push-ups in boot camp this morning. good thing I was totally slacking and only did like 100. hope Boy doesn't mind carrying the couch up the stairs all by himself.

what I find most interesting about this whole boot camp thing are the interesting ways in which I feel sore the next morning.

trip recap

Day two of boot camp and all I have to say is 300 crunches is a lot.

Anyway, here it is, as promised, the trip recap:

Have I already mentioned that it was really, really good? Don't know if I have... anyway, it was really, really good! Here's the skinny on what we managed to cram into nine little days:

Day 1: Boy picked me up at the Pittsburgh airport and we immediately went to Mike and Ali's for Ali's baby shower/party type thing. Lots of fun and too much food. Lots of cute stuff was unwrapped. We spent the night and their place, woke up the next morning, ate waffles, and headed out to meet up with my parents for brunch. (See, two breakfasts in one day. Pay attention because the food theme is a strong one in this narrative.)

Day 2: Met my parents for brunch at the Grand Concourse (more food). Again, lots of fun and way too much food. After brunch we rode the incline. I showed Boy stuff at the top of Mount Washington and then we rode down. Headed out to my friend Karen's for a bbq and more food. Spent the afternoon/early evening at Karen's. She's sort of kicking around the idea of going into the catering business so again, way too much food (and lots of fun). After that (and we're still on Day 2 here) we headed out to my parents to watch the final episode of "The Sopranos." My mom made snacks. More food.

Day 3: Woke up in my childhood home and spent the day in the suburbs. Went to the mall, had lunch at Eat n' Park, played with my parent's dog in the back yard, went for a run in the park, and checked out the buffalo herd at the South Park Game Preserve. At Eat n' Park, boy got a salad. It had fries on it and he was totally freaked out. I tried to convince him it was good but he was still wearry. Boy will never be a Pittsburgher. That night, Mom cooked dinner and then assorted family members came over for the evening. This was by far the most leisurly day of our trip...

Day 4: Woke up to discover a box of pasteries from Bethel Bakery! Ate pasteries and then went to Fallingwater. Took the tour and our guide totally sucked. Lots of unnecessary dramatic pauses and general early-twenties, artsy-fartsy awkwardness, if you know what I mean. May have been so painful to watch because I recognized part of myself in the guide. After Fallingwater, headed back to my parent's, packed up our stuff, and checked into our hotel in the city. Met Karen for the Pirates game. Went to the game, ate Primanti's, and cheered for Sauerkraut Saul in the pierogie race. He didn't win but the Pirates did. Yea!

Day 5: Walked down to the Strip for breakfast at Pamelas and then perused the random delicacies of the Strip. Smelled the cheeses at Penn Mac. Looked at the fish at Wholey's. Walked back to the hotel and checked out. Headed over to the South
Side to meet my parent's for lunch then walked around the South Side a bit. Headed over to the CMU/Oakland area to hang for a bit. Then headed back downtown for some Kayaking. Spent $12 on parking, $20 on kayaking and 30 min on the water because a huge storm blew in and ruined our fun. Stupid storm. After that, headed up to Squirell Hill for some coffee, then to Regent Square to meet up with Mark and Eryn. Went to dinner with Mark and Eryn at Church Brew Works. Boy finally got to eat some pierogies. Boy was happy. Spent the night in Regent Square on an air mattress in Mark and Eryn's spare bedroom. Despite the setup, I had the best night of sleep of the trip. I think it was because I was in an old house in my old neigborhood and the house had a very familiar smell, much like my old apartment. smell bring's back memories and feelings you can't verbalize but can experience on a very real level and so I think that on that air matress, inches from the 100 year-old wooden floor, I had a feeling like I was home, a feeling I haven't so much had in the past year an a half and so I slept well. very, very well.

Day 6: Made Boy and Mark have breakfast with me at the Square Cafe. Unfortunately, they were not in on the joke and had a hard time understanding why I was so excited about the strange, square mugs, the overpriced food, and the bad service from the same, overly tan waitress that's been there since the place opened. Marisa and Cara, I wish you had been there. After breakfast, we loaded up the car and headed out of town. Drove across the ever-so-exciting states of Ohio and Indiana to make it to Chicago by nightfall. Kept ourselves amused with two very intense and competitive games of the alphabet game. I took the first one and boy won the second round. (Though honestly, I was getting sick of playing so I may not have been trying so hard.) Rolled into the windy city around 6:30. Met up with Boy's friends to get the keys to the apartment we'd be staying in before they (the friends, not the keys) left to get ready for their performance. They said the apartment had a cat but there was no sign of the cat.

Boy and I had about fifteen minutes to settle in before we had to leave to see them in the musical-comedy version of Debbie Does Dallas. No, I'm not kidding. It was incredibly funny. And bizarre. After the play we were out and about in Chicago until too late. Then we went back to the apartment and played "the record game," a game which involves picking songs based on the other person's answers to random questions such as "spoon straw or spork?", until the wee hours of the morning.

Day 7: Still no sign of the cat though I think I heard it meowing in the middle of the night. Reluctantly woke up and unreluctantly went to breakfast at Ann Sather. I love any restaurant that will give you two cinnamon rolls as one of your two sides. After breakfast, we walked up to Wrigley field for the Cubs game. Had some pre-game drinks at Murphy's Bleachers, had our picture taken with Ronnie Woo-Woo Wickers . Had great seats, beautiful weather, and the Cubs won! It's hard not to be a baseball fan with a scenario like that.

After the game, headed back to the apartment for aprox. 45 minutes. Caught a brief glimps of the cat. It's funny how some cats will go into hiding for however long it takes if there are strangers a foot. Upon seeing us, the cat quickly returned to the safety of its fort under the bed.

Still on Day 7... got cleaned up and met Boy's parents for dinner and drinks. Was so tried that I was barely able to talk. Somehow held it together until 10:00 when I fell asleep on the couch and the cat fell asleep under the bed. Woke up in the middle of the night and noticed the cat was sleeping at the foot of the bed. Either that or I was dreaming...

Day 8: Woke up to the cat meowing at the foot of the bed. He/she was out of food and was now willing to make friends. Fed the cat and was eventually able to get her/him to let me pet her/him a bit. Showered, packed up, and again left town. Drove from Chicago to Kansas City. Got there just in time to see the Royals game. It was "military appreciation night" so there were lots of noisy fly overs and we got free hats. The game was boring and the Royals lost. God, I hate baseball. Also, took us longer to get to KC than we thought so no bbq. Sigh... Spent the night in some semi-questionable Econo Lodge in Kansas. Ewww.

Day 9: It's almost over! Got in the car (again) and headed for home. After suffering through the boringness of Kansas (sorry Kansas. Though, in all fairness, there was a Perkins and the Perkins was good) and a match of the alphabet game that seemed to go on forever and never actually ended, we finally made it back to Colorado! Abby has never been happier.

Okay, hi. I'm back. I've finally posted picture of our trip and I know, I know, I owe a trip recap but I'm busy. Maybe I'll have time tonight. But maybe not... I have to start planning for Abby's birthday party (taking place this weekend). She's turning 12. 12! All of her doggie friends are invited. There will be frosty paws and goody bags for the kids as well as lots of treats for the humans.

Oh, and in addition to the party planning, I also need to go to bed early because yesterday I started a five-week fitness boot camp which meets MWF at 6:10 am. Am I crazy? Yes, maybe a little bit. Am I out of shape? Yes, yes, that too. I really thought I was okay but it turns out I'm not, well, at least not in the push-up department. Who invented those things anyway? Thank god that didn't make us do pull-ups. There's really no need to suffer that kind of public humiliation.

last night I had dinner with my friend Rene and his 15 month-old daughter, Sofia. she's a cutie and she's also the best thing that's ever happened to Rene (despite her messy eating habits). Rene grew up in Spain and so Sofia is well on her way to bilingualism. kids these days.

tomorrow I'm off to Pittsburgh to see some of you, my loyal readers, as well as my family, some of whom are also loyal readers (hi jen and nobel!).

I'm flying into Pittsburgh tomorrow afternoon. boy (who is currently in the middle of Indiana) is meeting me out there. we'll be in Pittsburgh for about five days into which we will try to cram way too many people/things/restaurants. it's going to be awesome. btw, who wants to go to Primantis with us?

on Thursday we're going to start heading back to Colorado. we're going to spend a few days in Chicago (Boy used to live there) and then a night in Kansas city (for some baseball and bbq). we'll finally be back in Colorado on the 17th. phew.

stay tuned. pictures and trip-recap to follow!

last week's issue of the New Yorker, or wait... maybe it's this weeks. I think I get them early because I have a subscriptions... so... um... okay. let's start over.

a recent issue the New Yorker had an essay by David Sedaris. I found the essay ammusing and well written but not nearly as funny as his old writing was. I remember reading Naked when it came out like ten years ago and literally lauging out loud, in public, by myself, while I was reading it. maybe his writing has changed a bit or maybe I've come to expect the humor and therefore, am not as surprised by it as I once was. my friend mike (aka in-shape guy) also has a subscription to the New Yorker and we were talking about the recent issue while running yesterday. I brought up the Sedaris piece and mike said he thought Sedaris was going for "touching" in addition to the humor and so maybe that's what's different.

so flash-forward to yesterday night while I was reading Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim. I read the essay called "the end of the affair." the article is both funny and touching and I thought it summed up love so well that I had to write about it here. it [the article] is about how Sedaris and his partner of 10-or-so years (Hugh) go to see a "romantic" movie (the end of the affair). after seeing the movie Hugh seems to become annoyed at the normal, boringness of their lives together (which is typical of most couples who have been together for a while). so Sedaris writes:

I encouraged him to look on the bright side. "Listen," I said. "we maybe don't live in wartime London, but in terms of the occassional bomb scare, Paris is a pretty close second. We both love bacon and country music, what more could you possibly want?"

What more could he want? It was an incredibly stupid question and when he failed to answer, I was reminded of just how lucky I truly am. Movie characters might chase each other through the fog or race down the stairs of burning buildings, but that's for beginners. Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings. I wanted to say something to this effect, but my hand puppets were back home in their drawer. Instead, I pulled my chair a few inches closer, and we sat silently at our little table on the square, looking for all the world like two people in love.

see what I mean?

better!

I'm going to cast my vote for antibiotics as one of the best inventions ever and I think that actual, scientific people would agree with me on that one.

anyway, I took some last week and the ickiness I was experiencing is gone. I no longer feel like I'm in a fog of sickness. I can breathe again. I can hear again. I can taste again. all is right with the world.

Rules to live by

I have two important rules to live by in my life:

1. NEVER go to the grocery store when you're hungry.

and 2. Never, under any circumstances, eat Ben and Jerry's out of the carton.

I've added a third to my list which is never make any important decisions when you're sick/taking cold medicine. I've been sick for about a week. I'm taking all sorts of drugs and my mental and emotional state is sort of "iffy" at best. On top of that, because I've been sick I haven't been doing much or seeing many people and so I've been sitting around, thinking about all the major stuff in my life while watching trashy TV and I just think it's a bad combination. Bad. Bad. Bad. I think I need a carton of Ben and Jerry's to take my mind off of all of this...

mid-day tuesday. in my office with door shut. can't keep out the sound of thunder. seems to be right above my head. maybe slightly to the left. and loud.

semi-geeky post

reading this recent article in the New Yorker made me think of simplicity vs. functions in the context of my two iPods. I have a "regular," 20G iPod and I also have a shuffle. although the shuffle has less functionality than the regular, I think I like it more. definitely, I use it more.

sure, the shuffle only holds about 250 songs but really, I'm usually obsessed with no more than 100 songs at a given time so why do I need to have all of my music available all the time? there are, however, times when the regular iPod is better: extended traveling, a boring day at work. and if my computer ever crashes, I'll have a backup of all my music. however when I'm driving or running or riding my bike or just going, the simplicity of the shuffle far outweighs the functionality of the regular. (plus the shuffle is green and the regular is white and that's better too!)

it's funny though. we get so caught up in being able to have the most options that we forget to think about the reality of how the object will be used and whether or not it will serve us well. we're so concerned with getting the most that we don't pay attention to the quality of what we're getting (think "super size" and mcdonalds). yes, it's true - we may get a lot. but if what we're getting isn't good for us, then do we really want it?

anyway, somebody give me some work to do soon so I'll stop being so darn philosophical!!!!

I heart my ipod shuffle. it's almost like the perfect boyfriend. the shuffle is there for me when I need it to be and it understands my wants and needs. case in point: the other day I went for a trail run and just as I was about to tackle a hill, my shuffle started to played "don't stop believing" (that's right, Journey). shuffle didn't judge me for my musical taste. it just picked what was it thought was best for that particular moment. I could have kissed it.

with not much going on at work today, I spent a few hours messing with the playlist on my shuffle. I also played a few rounds of this game . it's an education game so I learned a few things. for example, did you know that milk can help prevent PMS? well, actually I think it's the calcium that helps. an even better argument for more ice cream!

I found the game through the adobe edge newsletter, which is sent to my work account so that I can research multimedia stuff and keep us on the cutting edge (or whatever). so my game playing was totally work related... um... yeah. that would explain why I thought it was best to play with my door closed...

today's word is stupid

warning in advance: I'm a little cranky today.

every day I get an email with the word of the day from Merriam-Websters and I have to say that today's word is downright pointless. the word is prothalamion which means "a song in celebration of a marriage." while I don't believe that songs in celebration of marriage are pointless, I believe that this word is pointless because when will I ever use it?

come on, m-w.com. don't you know that I only really like the words I can use to subtly insult the people and situations around me? geez.

the iPods understand

I just got an iPod shuffle and I'm finding it to be the most amazing little thing ever! We are going for a run today after work. I wonder if my regular ipod feels bad. It [the regular iPod] used to go running with me back in the day but I think that it [the regular iPod] is more of a special occasion device and the shuffle is more of an every day thing. It's sort of like the Ben and Jerry's vs other ice cream. You don't indulge in that stuff every day. No, no, no. The everyday ice cream (yes, I really do eat the much ice cream) needs to be something with a little less fat and calories, a little less "special." Otherwise, the charm of the peanut butter filled pretzels is gone. So, the regular iPod is Chubby Hubby and the shuffle is a skinny cow . I love them both in their own way and I think they get that.

I recently (yesterday) joined the local freecycle group and I can't stop thinking of things I could maybe give away. I have so much stuff that I just don't need but it's too good to throw away. So I keep it, thinking I'll eventually get around to selling it on Craigs List or maybe I'll have a yard sale but then I never do. I had one yard sale once and while I made a few hundred dollars, it wasn't the most positive experience. There's something strange about your life being on display for strangers to pick through and judge. And there's also the dilemma of what to call the sale when you don't really have a yard or a garage. For someone trained in the art of crafting words, that can be a problem.

But anyway, I think freecycle is a good idea because it promotes reuse/recycling instead of just throwing things away. Given the over-consumptive nature of our society, it's a good thing.

And speaking of over-consumption (as I unnecessarily snack on the Icelandic chocolate bar my friend J. gave me after her recent trip...)the weather's good here and so I've started riding my bike to work again. I rode in three times last week which saved me approximately 60 miles of driving, which saved approximately two gallons of gas. In addition to the earth friendly stuff, the commuting enabled me to not feel bad about snacking on the Icelandic chocolate bar so it's good all around (except when that big bug flew right into the side of my head. That kind of hurt.).

Okay, enough with the hippie stuff. I'm off to Starbucks!

there's just no need

so I rode my bike to work today. then I went for a run during lunch. and in a few hours, I have to ride home.

whimper.

but as a reward for all this exercise stuff, I just bought myself a green iPod shuffle.

I realize this is a bit of an inside joke for those of you who have heard the story so sorry in advance to those of you who haven't. Anyway, I was browsing through the new Patagonia catalog yesterday and this product description made me laugh:

"It's a shame more travel companions can't be like our Undercover Cami – reliable, ready for action, supportive and, best of all, zero complaining when the weather turns bad."

Would have been the perfect top to have in Hawaii. ;)

I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm impressed with our government.

I'm expecting a pretty decent return from the IRS this year and since I filed my taxes at the semi-last minute (post-marked April 14th) I haven't gotten it [the return] yet.

I went to the IRS website to see if they had any info on how long it typically takes to get one's return and low and behold, they have a return tracking feature that's easy to find (prominently displayed on the top, center of the page) and easy to use. now we just need to wait and see if the info is right.

the return tracking feature informed me that so long as "they" don't find any mistakes (oh god, please, please, please don't find any mistakes!) I'll have my refund by May 29th.