I've spent a lot of time this weekend meditating on the problem areas in my life. here are the results:

1. Abby. she's pretty much fully recovered from the other night and seems pretty darn happy to be alive. so.... as long as she's happy to be here, I'm happy to have her.

2. Boy. he called yesterday because he wanted to see me. honestly, I think he was just lonely and didn't want to be alone. I told him about Abby and he said "I'm sorry to hear that" but didn't ask anything about what, specifically was going on, what I was thinking of doing, how I was doing, etc. feeling like he just didn't understand or couldn't relate to what I was going through, later in our conversation I asked, "you know I'm thinking about having her put to sleep, right...?" he said, "yeah, I know." and that was all. and that's exactly what we're not together any more.

3. the job. let's face it. the people I work with (with the exception of my officemate, who is awesome) totally suck. it's a toxic environment and I need to get out of there. right now, we're in the middle of a sight redesign and I think it's good for the resi to stick it out. I figure this will take a good six months or so. so... I guess my goal is to have a new job some time in the fall. but - how exactly does one get a job? internet? I guess so. but it seems like such a black hole. networking? yeah, I guess there's that too but that can be hard. anyway, I guess what I want to say is if those of you who have recently found jobs can give me advice on how to find one, please send the info my way!