hi. long time, no blog. sorry about that. I've been ridiculously busy at work for the past month. in fact, I haven't had a day off in a month now. not one. crazy.

on top of work, there is much going on and I'll have to catch you up when I have a chance. but in the meantime...

let's say, hypothetically, you're hanging out with a friend who potentially has a bit of a crush on you and sort of out of nowhere, the friend says,in a completely honest, matter of fact way, while looking you right in the eye, that what he wants most in life is to have kids in the next two to three years. what's an acceptable reaction in that hypothetical situation? do you think a heartfelt, sincere, "yikes" is okay?

hypothetically, yikes.

rights and wrongs

in case you're all wondering, the house I fell in love with got married to someone else on monday. guess it wasn't meant to be.

it was a good experience though and I learned a lot. however, I can't help but feel like buying a house is analogous to dating. is that wrong? or am I right. and if I'm right, was it wrong that I just broke up with my other realtor and I did it over email? and should I feel like I was kind of cheating on him when I went to look at other houses with someone else before we officially broke up? and should I worry that because I met my mortgage broker through him, it will be awkward to work with her and my new realtor, the way it would be to go to the movies with an ex-boyfriend's friend and a new boyfriend? anyway, just one way to look at it all.

but one more thing: I sleep well at night knowing that whomever my first love married won't decorate him nearly as well as I would have. he didn't know how good he could have had it. isn't that always the case?

one more thing about my health

you know how I said my stomach was hurting every time I ate lunch? turns out it was the 16 oz. latte I had been having every morning. I went dairy free over the weekend and was totally fine. this week, I started drinking americanos again and all's good. so slight lactose intolerance. good to know.

I'd consider giving up dairy completely (I mean, it is unnatural for us to drink the milk of another animal) but ice cream is my favorite food group. and while I enjoy the occasional tofuti cutie, it's just not the same as rocky road.

really, honestly, wonderful

I went to the rheumi on Tuesday and they're almost completely sure that I'm fine.

I don't have RA but there's a chance I could have Lupus because the one blood thingie was kind of really positive. However, you need to have four out of the eleven Lupus symptoms to be diagnosed with Lupus and I only have one (the blood thingie). The doctor said about 5% of people with the blood thingie end up having a false positive (which is a low percentage). However, there are a few factors that can increase your risk of having a false positive; One is if you have a parent with RA (check) and another is if you have a problem with your thyroid (check) so she said she feels pretty sure it's going to be a false positive for me. Just to make sure, they took some blood (actually, a lot of blood!) and are running some more tests to find out for sure. I should know everything in a week or two.

I was so happy I cried in the parking lot after my appointment. sort of like Uma Thurman at the end of Kill Bill Vol. 2 except not as much crying and in a Honda Element instead of a on a bathroom floor.

a proud moment

one more detail to add about my day on Saturday - if you ever find yourself at Oscar Blues in Lyons, Colo, check the top score on the Qbert because it's totally me. (and so is #4 and #10 and #11.)

why boys are good

Friday I had an incredibly wonderful night. I had a massage after work which totally zenned me out. then I had an interesting philosophical conversation outside in the warm, gentle evening light with my friend J while our dogs hung out in the yard. I then drove to the grocery store and bought some chocolate cake that I ate while watching sex and the city reruns.

I was truly happy and thought "who needs a date? this, right now, is just as good, if not better."

but now I am home. alone. and there is a big, stingy thing in here with me.

bugs are totally why god invented boys.

my weekend was good. how was yours?

sometimes, words just don't add anything.