re-in love

so over the past week or so, I've re-fallen in love with Boulder. as you'll recall, I loved it that first summer I was here as an intern but when I moved back in February, I wasn't as into it as I had been.

but I dunno... there's just been something about this place the last few days. that something may be that it's been 70 and sunny and down right gorgeous. or it may be that they remodeled whole foods and it's even better than it was before. or it may be that I'm going to yoga more regularly again.

or maybe it's that this morning, my friend Mike and I rode in to work in the glorious weather. we got here late, then went for coffee and ate pumpkin nut muffins while discussing the differences between the political climate of 1960's America vs. now. then I did about a half hour of work before I was told I could go home whenever I wanted. and I want to go home now. and so I am. and life is good.

would it be too single-woman in her 30's of me to have mine and Abby's picture taken with Santa?

Why do I always get pulled into meetings with the big wigs, you know, the vp, the gm, etc, on days when I wake up and think "you know, it's probably okay if I don't shower today..."?

For reasons of which I will spare you the details, I felt like rereading one of my favorite poems by William Matthews:

Job Interview

Think you, if Laura had been Petrarch's wife
He would have written sonnets all his life?
DON JUAN, III, 63-4

"Where do you see yourself five years from now?"
the eldest male member (or is "male member"
a redundancy?) of the committee
asked me. "Not here," I thought. A good thing I

speak fluent Fog. I craved that job like some
unappeasable, taunting woman.
What did Byron's friend Hobhouse say after
the wedding? "I felt as if I had buried

a friend." Each day I had that job I felt
the slack leash at my throat and thought what was
its other trick. Better to scorn the job than ask
what I had ever seen in it or think

what pious muck I'd ladled over
the committee. If they believed me, they
deserved me. As luck would have it, the job
lasted me almost but not quite five years.

Why don't tall guys like me?

Baby steps, people. Baby steps.

Okay, so a number of you have suggested that I might want to get myself out there and start trying this thing they call "dating" and, quite frankly, I've kind of figured you didn't know what you were talking about. But since my therapist suggested it too... I guess I should at least think about giving it a shot.

But you know, I honestly don't want to. Right now, I'm quite comfortable with my latest pseudo boyfriend (we have another pseudo date today), especially since I know he doesn't want to be my boyfriend and so why not just coast in the comfort of this "relationship" while avoiding the potential for getting hurt yet again?

Okay, okay. You're right. I need to give it a shot. But this is going to take some time. So right now, I think I'm working up to just making eye contact with cute guys. The next step will be flirting. And then maybe I'll move on to an actual date.

Sounds like a plan to me.

I like to think that I'm the kind of person that once I have a plan, I'm on it. So, this weekend I:

* made brief but flirty eye contact with cute guy at the GoLite warehouse sale. (could have made more eye contact but the deals were incredible and I have my priorities.)

* boldly made extended eye contact with cute, pro-skier guy at the Warren Miller movie yesterday. would have maybe even worked up the courage to go say "hi" (I had had a few beers and was wearing my fabulous movie-star sunglasses that I bought in Hawaii) but my rowdy group of friends was moving on.

* flirted just a wee bit with rugged ex-marketing turned handyman/outdoor adventure guy at dinner and got him to buy me a drink while pretending that I wasn't trying to get him to buy me a drink. good to know the skill are still intact.

I guess it's impossible to not be affected by the environment in which you live, to not be influenced (subtly or otherwise) by the opinions, beliefs, and lifestyles of those around you. I have been in Boulder for almost a year and I still dislike Crocs as much as I always have. therefore, I thought I was immune to being changed by this place. however, today I took Abby to the vet and she suggested using acupuncture to treat Abby's lower back/hip pain and I'm considering doing it.

the vet explained the process to me, how the first session lasts about an hour because they (the therapists) sit down with you (the owner) and ask a lot of questions to "get to know who Abby is as a person. questions like 'what is her favorite food?' and 'what's her favorite kind of weather?' because in Chinese medicine, they believe that in order to effectively treat a person, you need to really know and understand that person as an individual."

I did not snicker, smirk, or even inwardly roll my eyes at any of this. in fact, I was down with it. it sounded smart and interesting and valuable to me. dear god, what have I become?

I'm back from the south Pacific and officially experiencing jet lag. 12:27 and I'm not tired at all... so instead of being productive - packing my stuff for tomorrow, catching up on my correspondence, etc, I'm eating macadamia nuts and watching "The Daily Show."

So for me, the trip was pretty great. I saw lots of cool stuff and did lots of cool things. And, perhaps the most important thing was that I got away from here, forgot all about work, and learned some new stuff about my stuff and the world around me. I think that's what I like the most about traveling - you learn about yourself, the people you're with, and whether or not you're cut out for deep sea fishing.

Should I feel bad about the fact that I vomited off the side of the boat before we even left the harbor? Maybe. But I think the whole experience (deep sea fishing yes, but the trip in general) made me realize that I'm generally an easy-going, positive person. Case in point: despite the sickness, I was still pleasant to be around. As Lyle, our semi-hot deck hand remarked, "You're always smiling. You hurl over the side of the boat and right after, you're smiling again."

Yep, it's true. I was. But that's because instead of wallowing in my misery, I was thinking of just how good it feels right after you get sick. Honestly, it's the best you've ever felt in your entire life and if that's not something to smile about, I don't know what is.