*the opinions expressed in this post are in now way intended to make it seem like I think I'm without flaws.

I've often said that dogs are like people but with more fur.

for the past few days I've been watching my transgendered neighbor's dogs while she's off hiking in the mountains. (now I know you might say "is the fact that she's transgendered really important?" and the answer is that yes, it is. well, maybe it is. anyway, it factors in later so hang in there.) at first this dog (named Harry) comes off as as incredibly social and mellow. he's constantly wagging his tail in a happy little way and wanting me to pet him. however, as I found out Sunday night, there is much unhappiness beneath the little guy's surface.

Sunday was officially Abby's 12th birthday so I had a little party for Abby's doggie friends and their owners. I went to PC's pantry and got special treats for the "kids." I bought frosty paws. and I even made goodie bags for the road (you know, like you used to get at parties in grade school). Harry seemed to be having a good time at the party but then, later that night... Harry (who is something like five or six) tried (a few times) to pick a fight with Abby.

I was brushing my teeth when the first time it happened. I'm guessing the first fight started like the second one (which I saw go down): Harry got a little too close to abby for comfort and she sent out her typical "dude, back off" warning (which is just a tiny little bark). while most dogs react with something like "geez, okay. chill out. I'll go do my own thing..." (we're in Boulder. dogs talk like that here.) instead, Harry's reaction was (head cocked to the side in a punk like way) "oh, so you wanna fight? well we can fight!"

dude, come on. there's just no need.

needless to say, I was incredibly pissed at Harry and he's been spending a lot of time enjoying the view from my balcony these past few days. but then I started to think of the people I've known who have acted the same way: incredibly social, intentionally projecting a laid-back image and then, for seemingly no reason at all, they attack. at first it's bewildering (seriosly, I've never seen Abby look so confused) and then it's just annoying because, and I know I'm repeating myself here, dude, there's just no need.

obviously, the over-socialness is a sign of insecurity and the need for acceptance (Harry's constant need for attention, some people's constant need for attention from the opposite sex, the need to always win everything, etc).

I know that I should feel sorry for these people/dogs. they are confused, insecure, and generally unhappy inside. can harry really help the confusion when his owner is (by no choice of her own) sending out so many mixed signals about who/what she is?

but at the same time, despite what some have thought, my purpose in life (and Abby's) is not for you to work out your issues. I'm not here so that you can try to make yourself feel better by making me feel bad. (and in case you haven't figured it out, making other people feel bad, kind of makes you feel bad too...)

sometimes I think it would make me feel better if these people (and dogs) - and I know you know who you are - could just tell me "you know, I was kind of horrible to you for reasons that had nothing to do with you..." they don't even have to appologize. realizing the behavior is enough. but then I know that part of what makes these people (and dogs) so unhappy is the same thing that will keep them from being able to admit what they've done. and honestly, what makes me feel better is knowing I'm not like them.

hang in their Harry. your mommy(?) is coming for you soon. besides, the view from the balcony is rather nice, isn't it?