too much drama

about a year ago, I was completely hooked on grey's anatomy. I watched it religiously every week and, if I could be around for the "live" show, I'd make sure I caught it some other way. however, as the season went on, I found myself watching it less and less. I'm not sure if it was the unbelievable dramas with which the characters are confronted or the unbelievable whininess with which the characters deal with their problems that began to bug me. whatever the case, I didn't even bother to watch the season finale. or the episode before that. or the episode before that, or the episode before that...

last night I was home building some furniture that I just bought so I turned on the TV. Ugly Betty was on and I definitely have a soft spot for that show. Ugly Betty was followed by the season finale of grey's. I watched it. and it was bad. full of unnecessary and unbelievable plots and lots of bad acting. so the question is, what's changed? is it me or is it the show? me thinks it's me but me don't know.

anyway, I'm pretty excited about this weekend: Jen and Noble are driving through town on their way from CA to PA and they're staying with me from Sunday night until Tuesday! however, I've got a lot cleaning to before they get here...

oh, and I'm also running in another 5K. last weekend, I was second in my age group (and there were more than two of us!). this weekend, I just want to run faster than I did last weekend. and who knows, maybe one of these weekends I'll be the only one in my age group and you know what that means - I win!

I think it's time

for me to actually own my own place.

on Friday, I sort of had this epiphany, gut feeling, whatever, that I should look into buying a place. not a house. more like a condo or townhouse type thing. and probably not in Boulder. more like in Denver. in a quaint city neighborhood like the one I lived in in Pittsburgh. after a year and a half, I'm kinda done with Boulder. for a young, non-married person, childless person, this place only really makes sense for a few years. don't get me wrong, it's great and all, in some ways. but in some ways, it's just bizarre. so many of the other young, non-married, childless people here are searching for "something." in fact, I'd say that about 80% of the young, non-married, childless people here are searching for "something."

granted, we've all had times in our lives when we've been searching for something and I think that during those times, people are more, hmm... shall we say self-centered? so imagine living in a town that's full of self-centered people.then, on top of that, imagine living in a town where you have to be understanding and mindful of other people's self-centeredness. plus this place is just so small and homogeneous.

so, I've been doing some browsing on-line and getting excited about the prospect of finally getting to pick my own paint colors. today I got a recomendation for a real estate agent in Denver. the next step is working up the courage to call. this could be hard, given my committment issues and my difficulty making big, life changing decisions. however... I think it's time.

smaller numbers all around

another sunday, another race. this time, we did a 5K (so that's smaller mileage) and I ran a lot faster than last week (like 1.5 minutes a mile faster) and, my bib number this week was 10 (last week it was 11). so there you have it. smaller numbers all around. that's a good thing.

next week Boy and I tackle the Panerathon - a 5K sponsored by Panera bread with free food at the end!

where do you live?

I feel like this is an abbot and costello routine waiting to happen.

A: "Where do you live?"

C; "I live on A street."

A: "Well I know you live on a street but which street?"

C: "A street."

A: "No, no, no. What's the name of you're street?"

C: "I already told you. It's A street!"

See what I mean?

happy football season everyone!

yes, that's right, it's started again. football season is here. and, having a dad who had season tickets for the Steelers and only had daughters, I was raised to like football.

the Steelers' posse reconviened today after a long break and it made me realize that I kinda like hanging out with guys sometimes. I haven't seen these guys in almost a year but did any of them question our friendship? wonder what was wrong and if were mad at them? think that I had wronged them by not talking to them for so long? nope. just a simple "good to see you again. how've you been?" and everything was good. oh, and the Steelers won. that's always good too.

I didn't make it to the the game until late in the second quarter because Boy and his brother made me run in a 10K in Nederland, Co this morning (which is like 8,400 ft.). I know this race was at high altitude and all but man, I used to be in way better shape... despite the fact that boot camp has started up again (yes, I'm doing it AGAIN), I'm considering running in some kind of race every weekend from now until... well, until I don't feel like it anymore. this feeling may pass quickly but for now, I'm considering another 10K at the Res. in Boulder next weekend. it's only $20 to enter and you get a shirt. sign me up!

words I never thought I'd say and mean

"I could really use a thimble right now."

the shirt

I've been watching a lot of the U.S. Open these past few days and I'm absolutely fascinated by the fact that in almost every men's match, at least one of the guys is wearing this shirt. in one of the matches over the weekend, both guys were wearing "the shirt" in the same color.

interestingly enough, the shirt has a fairly high sucess rate. it almost always wins. there's gotta be something to that.

spoke too soon?

okay, so thank all of you who have expressed concern over my potentially problematic personal position this past weekend. the good news is that things with Boy are on the mend. after a few days of thinking about it all, Boy and I got together and had one of those really good conversations where you feel connected with and therefore closer to the person you're talking with. I've got to tell you, it restored my faith in humanity a bit which I needed, given what I've dealt with the past three years.

after two disastrous relationships and a few failed friendships with individuals who did things like used a spreadsheet to keep track of the status/value of their friendships and or got crazy, freaky, upset because they didn't get their way, I was beginning to think that people (or the people I tend to find myself around) just sort of suck. (not you guys, of course. you guys are all awesome!)

it's not so much that I thought people suck, more that a lot of people are stuck in their own drama and couldn't give two hoots (or even one) about anybody else. I think this is true about a certain percentage of the population and, unfortunately, a large portion of that certain percentage live in boulder (but that's a topic for another post). I was beginning to think that Boy was one of these people and it's so nice to know that he's not. it's also nice to have that core connection to someone, where you're able to see each other for everything you are, good, bad, and the stuff in between, even if that connection lasts for just for a moment, so long as you get a moment every now and then.

you could probably tell from my last post that things have gotten a little iffy with me and Boy. while all relationships have rough patches, I think it's safe to say this is more than a patch. and, looking back on my blog entries, I can't help but return to the quiz my friends m&m invented for me last summer. Boy did not pass the quiz and I probably should have respected those results. sigh...

okay, so Boy's parents are in town this weekend and I've been tagging along to a lot of their events. they are nice people. lovely people, in fact. however, it's been a bit tough for me and I know that Boy would never understand why. for various reasons, I've had a hard time feeling like I'm even part of my own family so spending so much time with someone else's family feels strange to me. on top of that, Boy's brother, David, also lives in Boulder so there's four of them and one of me and I can't help but feel like the fifth wheel, especially when I'm the one sitting at the special chair that's been added to the end of the four person table.

through the personal narrative called my life, I've come to discover that I'm a bit of a loner (probably more than a bit). while I enjoy social interactions and what have you, I'm just very used to having time to myself and it feels really, really uncomfortable when I don't get it. sometimes it makes me tired. and sometimes I just need some down time. this weekend, I haven't gotten it. but Boy never needs downtime. and Boy doesn't like to be alone. he's a triplet (have I mentioned this before?) and his family is actually normal and happy and not at all disfunctional (which, personally, I consider abnormal) so he just doesn't get why I might be uncomfortable or unhappy (ever). and I know he never will.

so what do you do with a situation like this? sometimes I think it's nearly impossible (through no fault of his own) for him to truly understand the heart of who I am, what I've been through, what I'm feeling, etc. sometimes I think that's bad. and then other times, I think it's good that he's so different and has such a different perspective. it's confusing. it's tough. and it's what I've been thinking about the most lately. sigh...

run away!

it's the end of august and the students are back in town. and that means the town is crazy like an i-hop on Sunday after church gets out.

I needed to go to target today after work to pick up a prescription for Abby. (yes, that's right. my dog shops at target.) however, the parking lot was total chaos, complete with packs of roving frat type guys and gangs of girls with shorts too short and hair too long. I don't know what it is with these types of people but they seem to be unable to both walk and pay attention to the world around them at the same time.

after struggling through the parking lot for five painful minutes, seeing nary an empty spot, I decided to ditch the mission. the craziness of the parking lot was reflected in the traffic around town too but I eventually made it back to the safety of my apartment, slightly north of, and therefore isolated from, the campus/town environment. thank god.

my new plan is to go back to target early on saturday morning, before the students are up and out. but actually, it doesn't have to be that early. I remember when I was an undergrad, I'd get miffed if people were being loud in the dorm before 11:00 on a weekend. seems like sleeping that late would be physically impossible for me now. wow - I think I've maybe grown up...

Colorado's most famous export, next to Coors

I think I may have a 24-hour bug. at least, I hope that's what it is - I'm tired, my body aches, and, despite the fact that it's aproaching 90 outside, I'm cold. part of me wonders if I have west nile. Boy insists that I don't. but I might. we are prone to west nile out here and I have gotten about a zillion mosquito bites in the past month. however, I'm resisting the temptation to look up west nile symptoms on-line because the last time I used Web-MD, I convinced myself that I had menengitus.

so, it's beautiful and sunny out (of course it is) and I'm lying on my couch, under a blanket, being sick. but, this is not a sad thing - a few hours ago, I discovered that there's a Dog the Bounty Hunter marathon on tv. I'm way behind on my New Yorkers, I'm reading like three books right now, and there is the Sunday Times. but a dose of trashy tv is good for you, every now and then, and right now, this is just what the doctor ordered!

Boy and I saw wait, wait, don't tell me last night, which was good. but... I kind of thought that, being at a live taping, there'd be more to it than the normal show, especially since the tickets were like $45 a piece. however, there wasn't. hmm... me thinks public radio is probably doing okay.

anyway, the show was good, none the less, and what was most interesting to me was how spry Carl Kasell is. I wouldn't thought he was the type of guy to run across stage and energetically high-five people but you know what? he is.

in other news, I discovered today that if you go to flickr and search on my ex-husband's name, you'll find a picture of him dressed in black and dancing, by himself, with a white feather boa. um... do you think I should be reading into that at all? what if I tell you that the picture was taken in San Francisco? should I be reading even more into it?

what can I say? I'm on the cutting edge of exercise. read this article to see what I mean.

while exercising this morning, I rode past a u-cut christmas tree place on the way to work and it made me wonder if other languages/cultures substitute single letters for entire words the way that we do. who amongst you would know? Cara would. but she's in Africa right now. hopefully she's keeping up with my blog while on safari.

I also rode past a truck that had a Jobox on the back of it. Jobox, which combines the words job and box into one, seems to be the opposite of the bicapitalization craze that's going on right now. I wonder if, in a few years, the bicapitalization thing will reverse and we'll go with the smushing thing instead? so many questions about language today...

let's see... what else... oh, I've been seeing a lot of humming birds lately which I find interesting. until this year, I had never actually seen a humming bird. others would see them and say "oh my god! a humming bird!" but when I'd turn to look, s/he'd be gone.so far this week I have seen three. I was buzzed by two of them while drinking a beer on the deck of the potbelly restaurant and bar after my first leg of the wild west relay. then I saw another one while I was out for a run earlier this week. they are so little and delicate. and their wings make the most overwhelming sound (especially when they fly close to your head). I am enamored with them right now.

oh! and Boy and I are going to see Wait wait... Don't tell me! tonight. very exciting. even though you've chosen not to hire me twice now, I still love you, NPR.

my toe is bloody

seems to happen every year after I run a lot. yet again, one of my toenails has fallen victim to the wild west relay. what's interesting is that it's a different toe. and actually, I think this one is going to make it (unlike the others that eventually fell off). this may be a gross topic for some of you but hey, it is what it is.

not that you care, but:

right now I am eating the best salad EVER. I bought it this morning at whole foods. it's pre-made and, of course, was a expensive. it's a little salad and I stood in the salad aisle for a while, wondering whether or not this little salad was worth $3.99. I thought it wouldn't be but I bought it anyway. and, to my surprise, I'd say it's actually worth $4.25. super yummy. super, super, super yummy!

hi. I'm an aunt.



isn't he cute? :)

we all have those days at work every once in a while but in my new position, I have this new coworker who seems to be one of those people who, as my friend Mike would say, "lifts herself up on the misfortunes of others" and so she hasn't been the most cooperative/helpful person and so I think my day can best be summed up with this.

anyway, it's not all bad. we ran a timed mile in boot camp today and I shaved almost a minute off my time from four weeks ago. seeing as four weeks ago, my time was 8:30, that's not so bad.

it's the little things

why does it bother me so much when people say things like "purvent" instead of prevent? why do I even notice these things?

I wonder if it bothers those people that I say "intresting" instead of interesting.

life is fun

I just ordered four jumbo inflatable monkeys.

8:19 on Sunday night and again, where has the weekend gone? Well, actually, here's where it went: Friday night Boy and I went to the Boulder Chop House for steak. I've never been on a steak date before and it was kind of fun and utterly indulgent.

Saturday morning we woke up early and headed to the mountains to hike Mt. Bierdstat, one of Colorado's 14ers. It's one of the easier 14ers, only 7 miles round trip and a few thousand feet of elevation gain. It's the second 14er that I've hiked and while it's awesome to make it to the top, I'm not sure I care if I hike another 14er again. I mean, seriously, it's hard to breath up there. On top of that, 14ers aren't really all that pretty. It's incredibly barren and rocky at the top and while you get a good view - neh. It's s'okay. Still, the wild flowers were beautiful on the hike and we got a good sense of accomplishment for the weekend. We also went to the outlets in Silverthorne when we were done. That was good too.

So then today... well today I haven't done a whole lot of much - cleaned a bit, hung out with some friends, watched a lot of Man vs. Wild, and spent some quality time with the doggie. Good stuff. Oh, and I finally uploaded my pictures to flicker. Here they are!

so if you've read the NY Times article below (if you haven't, go read it and then come back to this post): I don't have a lot going on at work right now so I was out on the web, perusing media type websites to try to see learn about the latest trend that will, a few months/years from now, be reversed by the latest trend. while at mediabistro, I noticed they have a section for pictures from their parties and events and so, just for the heck of it and because I recently read that NYTimes article, I took a look at some of them. and... wouldn't you know it but in two out of the three cities I checked out, I found people that I know. three events. two people. I could even say that I found 2.5 people because in the third city, the one guy looked really, really similar to someone I used to know. these 2.5 people are definitely the type of people who would want to be part of the scene, part of the photo installation, etc and I literally laughed out loud at my discoveries. life has funny coincidences like that some times.

I liked this article. it's good.

so my boot camp was on the Today show yesterday as part of a story about boot camps across the country. if you wanna see it, go here , go to Tuesday's Videos, and scroll down until you see "Fitness boot camp gains fans."

I've gotta tell you, ours looks a lot more gentle than the one that's run by the marine guy. Although today we did run up the side of a mountain again. Like ten times. And twice, our cute, perky, blond instructor made us do lunges up the side of the mountain. I asked her if I had accidentally turned into the parking lot for hell instead of the parking lot for the trail. She said she was going to take that as a compliment, then laughed sadistically and told me to do jumping lunges for a minute.

the waiting game

I rode my bike to work today and while it is not actually raining outside, there is thunder type stuff and, most horribly, a strong wind from the west. I ride from east to west to get home so I'm sitting at my desk waiting it out. there's a patch of blue sky off in the distance so about thirty more minutes and I should be good. and that's fine, I need a bit of a break before I ride home. I just got done with a two hour meeting where I took five pages of notes on all of the work I need to get done by January of next year. it's a little overwhelming, but in a good way. however, the crazy thing is... I still don't really have a lot of work to do. because we only recently (last month) became this new company thing that we are, people are still trying to figure out things like our strategy, our direction, our message, etc. until they get those things in place, there's nothing for me to do but sit back, enjoy the meetings and wait for the flood gates to open. not all that different than sitting here waiting for the journey home to begin, hoping the flood gates won't open while I'm on the road.

home again, home again

jiggity jig.

I was once again in Pittsburgh this past weekend. my entire family was in town for a surprise 60th birthday party for my Aunt Judy. I think she was fairly surprised, especially since her birthday isn't for another month.

again, it was sort of a whirlwind, non-stop trip. party on Friday night, breakfast with mom Saturday morning, then lunch with the cousins, haircut, and kennywood all on Saturday. I flew out early Sunday morning and was back in Boulder by noon. I spent the afternoon napping. whew.

this was the first time the whole family has been together in about five years. it's funny how your family has the ability to make you feel more comfortable and at home (and sometimes more crazy) than anybody else. it was a really, really good weekend and I wish I could have stayed for the french toast casserole thing they were all having at brunch on Sunday but I had to be back in Boulder sooner than later. I'll try to get my pictures uploaded in the next day or two...

what, exactly, is linkedin and why are we all using it?

I hate to keep giving you guys boot camp updates all the time but it's probably the most major thing I have going on right now and, well, it's pretty major. this morning we ran up the side of a mountain five times (six if you count the warm up). and if that wasn't enough, in between each run up the mountain, we did all sorts of strength training exercises. I'm starting to think this is slight insanity.

the other major thing is that I've started to start my new job, meaning I've been invited to a lot of meetings. I think that when you're part of the communications department, a good portion of your job is taken up by "communicating" with the rest of the communications department, hence all the meetings. and that's fine with me, so long as there are donuts (or even doughnuts).

not to be disuaded by the bootcamp fatigue, I think boy and I are going for a hike in the mountains this weekend. we were going to go on the 4th of July but we got a good 20 or 30 minutes outside of town when I realized that I had forgotten my shoes. oopsie.

*the opinions expressed in this post are in now way intended to make it seem like I think I'm without flaws.

I've often said that dogs are like people but with more fur.

for the past few days I've been watching my transgendered neighbor's dogs while she's off hiking in the mountains. (now I know you might say "is the fact that she's transgendered really important?" and the answer is that yes, it is. well, maybe it is. anyway, it factors in later so hang in there.) at first this dog (named Harry) comes off as as incredibly social and mellow. he's constantly wagging his tail in a happy little way and wanting me to pet him. however, as I found out Sunday night, there is much unhappiness beneath the little guy's surface.

Sunday was officially Abby's 12th birthday so I had a little party for Abby's doggie friends and their owners. I went to PC's pantry and got special treats for the "kids." I bought frosty paws. and I even made goodie bags for the road (you know, like you used to get at parties in grade school). Harry seemed to be having a good time at the party but then, later that night... Harry (who is something like five or six) tried (a few times) to pick a fight with Abby.

I was brushing my teeth when the first time it happened. I'm guessing the first fight started like the second one (which I saw go down): Harry got a little too close to abby for comfort and she sent out her typical "dude, back off" warning (which is just a tiny little bark). while most dogs react with something like "geez, okay. chill out. I'll go do my own thing..." (we're in Boulder. dogs talk like that here.) instead, Harry's reaction was (head cocked to the side in a punk like way) "oh, so you wanna fight? well we can fight!"

dude, come on. there's just no need.

needless to say, I was incredibly pissed at Harry and he's been spending a lot of time enjoying the view from my balcony these past few days. but then I started to think of the people I've known who have acted the same way: incredibly social, intentionally projecting a laid-back image and then, for seemingly no reason at all, they attack. at first it's bewildering (seriosly, I've never seen Abby look so confused) and then it's just annoying because, and I know I'm repeating myself here, dude, there's just no need.

obviously, the over-socialness is a sign of insecurity and the need for acceptance (Harry's constant need for attention, some people's constant need for attention from the opposite sex, the need to always win everything, etc).

I know that I should feel sorry for these people/dogs. they are confused, insecure, and generally unhappy inside. can harry really help the confusion when his owner is (by no choice of her own) sending out so many mixed signals about who/what she is?

but at the same time, despite what some have thought, my purpose in life (and Abby's) is not for you to work out your issues. I'm not here so that you can try to make yourself feel better by making me feel bad. (and in case you haven't figured it out, making other people feel bad, kind of makes you feel bad too...)

sometimes I think it would make me feel better if these people (and dogs) - and I know you know who you are - could just tell me "you know, I was kind of horrible to you for reasons that had nothing to do with you..." they don't even have to appologize. realizing the behavior is enough. but then I know that part of what makes these people (and dogs) so unhappy is the same thing that will keep them from being able to admit what they've done. and honestly, what makes me feel better is knowing I'm not like them.

hang in their Harry. your mommy(?) is coming for you soon. besides, the view from the balcony is rather nice, isn't it?

movin' on up. and to the east side!

I'm moving this weekend, if you can really call it that. I'm moving to one of the upstairs apartments in my building. so, for the third time in my semi-young life, I'm moving to a different apartment in the same building. I think I have a problem.

I'm moving because the upstairs is just a bit nicer. it's more private, has a better view. and good friends are now next door and across the hall instead of upstairs. as if my apartment building weren't already enough like a dorm. it's only going to get worse.

yesterday, Jessica and I moved most of the easy stuff. the big move with the heavy stuff is today and, as luck would have it, we did 180 push-ups in boot camp this morning. good thing I was totally slacking and only did like 100. hope Boy doesn't mind carrying the couch up the stairs all by himself.

what I find most interesting about this whole boot camp thing are the interesting ways in which I feel sore the next morning.

trip recap

Day two of boot camp and all I have to say is 300 crunches is a lot.

Anyway, here it is, as promised, the trip recap:

Have I already mentioned that it was really, really good? Don't know if I have... anyway, it was really, really good! Here's the skinny on what we managed to cram into nine little days:

Day 1: Boy picked me up at the Pittsburgh airport and we immediately went to Mike and Ali's for Ali's baby shower/party type thing. Lots of fun and too much food. Lots of cute stuff was unwrapped. We spent the night and their place, woke up the next morning, ate waffles, and headed out to meet up with my parents for brunch. (See, two breakfasts in one day. Pay attention because the food theme is a strong one in this narrative.)

Day 2: Met my parents for brunch at the Grand Concourse (more food). Again, lots of fun and way too much food. After brunch we rode the incline. I showed Boy stuff at the top of Mount Washington and then we rode down. Headed out to my friend Karen's for a bbq and more food. Spent the afternoon/early evening at Karen's. She's sort of kicking around the idea of going into the catering business so again, way too much food (and lots of fun). After that (and we're still on Day 2 here) we headed out to my parents to watch the final episode of "The Sopranos." My mom made snacks. More food.

Day 3: Woke up in my childhood home and spent the day in the suburbs. Went to the mall, had lunch at Eat n' Park, played with my parent's dog in the back yard, went for a run in the park, and checked out the buffalo herd at the South Park Game Preserve. At Eat n' Park, boy got a salad. It had fries on it and he was totally freaked out. I tried to convince him it was good but he was still wearry. Boy will never be a Pittsburgher. That night, Mom cooked dinner and then assorted family members came over for the evening. This was by far the most leisurly day of our trip...

Day 4: Woke up to discover a box of pasteries from Bethel Bakery! Ate pasteries and then went to Fallingwater. Took the tour and our guide totally sucked. Lots of unnecessary dramatic pauses and general early-twenties, artsy-fartsy awkwardness, if you know what I mean. May have been so painful to watch because I recognized part of myself in the guide. After Fallingwater, headed back to my parent's, packed up our stuff, and checked into our hotel in the city. Met Karen for the Pirates game. Went to the game, ate Primanti's, and cheered for Sauerkraut Saul in the pierogie race. He didn't win but the Pirates did. Yea!

Day 5: Walked down to the Strip for breakfast at Pamelas and then perused the random delicacies of the Strip. Smelled the cheeses at Penn Mac. Looked at the fish at Wholey's. Walked back to the hotel and checked out. Headed over to the South
Side to meet my parent's for lunch then walked around the South Side a bit. Headed over to the CMU/Oakland area to hang for a bit. Then headed back downtown for some Kayaking. Spent $12 on parking, $20 on kayaking and 30 min on the water because a huge storm blew in and ruined our fun. Stupid storm. After that, headed up to Squirell Hill for some coffee, then to Regent Square to meet up with Mark and Eryn. Went to dinner with Mark and Eryn at Church Brew Works. Boy finally got to eat some pierogies. Boy was happy. Spent the night in Regent Square on an air mattress in Mark and Eryn's spare bedroom. Despite the setup, I had the best night of sleep of the trip. I think it was because I was in an old house in my old neigborhood and the house had a very familiar smell, much like my old apartment. smell bring's back memories and feelings you can't verbalize but can experience on a very real level and so I think that on that air matress, inches from the 100 year-old wooden floor, I had a feeling like I was home, a feeling I haven't so much had in the past year an a half and so I slept well. very, very well.

Day 6: Made Boy and Mark have breakfast with me at the Square Cafe. Unfortunately, they were not in on the joke and had a hard time understanding why I was so excited about the strange, square mugs, the overpriced food, and the bad service from the same, overly tan waitress that's been there since the place opened. Marisa and Cara, I wish you had been there. After breakfast, we loaded up the car and headed out of town. Drove across the ever-so-exciting states of Ohio and Indiana to make it to Chicago by nightfall. Kept ourselves amused with two very intense and competitive games of the alphabet game. I took the first one and boy won the second round. (Though honestly, I was getting sick of playing so I may not have been trying so hard.) Rolled into the windy city around 6:30. Met up with Boy's friends to get the keys to the apartment we'd be staying in before they (the friends, not the keys) left to get ready for their performance. They said the apartment had a cat but there was no sign of the cat.

Boy and I had about fifteen minutes to settle in before we had to leave to see them in the musical-comedy version of Debbie Does Dallas. No, I'm not kidding. It was incredibly funny. And bizarre. After the play we were out and about in Chicago until too late. Then we went back to the apartment and played "the record game," a game which involves picking songs based on the other person's answers to random questions such as "spoon straw or spork?", until the wee hours of the morning.

Day 7: Still no sign of the cat though I think I heard it meowing in the middle of the night. Reluctantly woke up and unreluctantly went to breakfast at Ann Sather. I love any restaurant that will give you two cinnamon rolls as one of your two sides. After breakfast, we walked up to Wrigley field for the Cubs game. Had some pre-game drinks at Murphy's Bleachers, had our picture taken with Ronnie Woo-Woo Wickers . Had great seats, beautiful weather, and the Cubs won! It's hard not to be a baseball fan with a scenario like that.

After the game, headed back to the apartment for aprox. 45 minutes. Caught a brief glimps of the cat. It's funny how some cats will go into hiding for however long it takes if there are strangers a foot. Upon seeing us, the cat quickly returned to the safety of its fort under the bed.

Still on Day 7... got cleaned up and met Boy's parents for dinner and drinks. Was so tried that I was barely able to talk. Somehow held it together until 10:00 when I fell asleep on the couch and the cat fell asleep under the bed. Woke up in the middle of the night and noticed the cat was sleeping at the foot of the bed. Either that or I was dreaming...

Day 8: Woke up to the cat meowing at the foot of the bed. He/she was out of food and was now willing to make friends. Fed the cat and was eventually able to get her/him to let me pet her/him a bit. Showered, packed up, and again left town. Drove from Chicago to Kansas City. Got there just in time to see the Royals game. It was "military appreciation night" so there were lots of noisy fly overs and we got free hats. The game was boring and the Royals lost. God, I hate baseball. Also, took us longer to get to KC than we thought so no bbq. Sigh... Spent the night in some semi-questionable Econo Lodge in Kansas. Ewww.

Day 9: It's almost over! Got in the car (again) and headed for home. After suffering through the boringness of Kansas (sorry Kansas. Though, in all fairness, there was a Perkins and the Perkins was good) and a match of the alphabet game that seemed to go on forever and never actually ended, we finally made it back to Colorado! Abby has never been happier.

Okay, hi. I'm back. I've finally posted picture of our trip and I know, I know, I owe a trip recap but I'm busy. Maybe I'll have time tonight. But maybe not... I have to start planning for Abby's birthday party (taking place this weekend). She's turning 12. 12! All of her doggie friends are invited. There will be frosty paws and goody bags for the kids as well as lots of treats for the humans.

Oh, and in addition to the party planning, I also need to go to bed early because yesterday I started a five-week fitness boot camp which meets MWF at 6:10 am. Am I crazy? Yes, maybe a little bit. Am I out of shape? Yes, yes, that too. I really thought I was okay but it turns out I'm not, well, at least not in the push-up department. Who invented those things anyway? Thank god that didn't make us do pull-ups. There's really no need to suffer that kind of public humiliation.

last night I had dinner with my friend Rene and his 15 month-old daughter, Sofia. she's a cutie and she's also the best thing that's ever happened to Rene (despite her messy eating habits). Rene grew up in Spain and so Sofia is well on her way to bilingualism. kids these days.

tomorrow I'm off to Pittsburgh to see some of you, my loyal readers, as well as my family, some of whom are also loyal readers (hi jen and nobel!).

I'm flying into Pittsburgh tomorrow afternoon. boy (who is currently in the middle of Indiana) is meeting me out there. we'll be in Pittsburgh for about five days into which we will try to cram way too many people/things/restaurants. it's going to be awesome. btw, who wants to go to Primantis with us?

on Thursday we're going to start heading back to Colorado. we're going to spend a few days in Chicago (Boy used to live there) and then a night in Kansas city (for some baseball and bbq). we'll finally be back in Colorado on the 17th. phew.

stay tuned. pictures and trip-recap to follow!

last week's issue of the New Yorker, or wait... maybe it's this weeks. I think I get them early because I have a subscriptions... so... um... okay. let's start over.

a recent issue the New Yorker had an essay by David Sedaris. I found the essay ammusing and well written but not nearly as funny as his old writing was. I remember reading Naked when it came out like ten years ago and literally lauging out loud, in public, by myself, while I was reading it. maybe his writing has changed a bit or maybe I've come to expect the humor and therefore, am not as surprised by it as I once was. my friend mike (aka in-shape guy) also has a subscription to the New Yorker and we were talking about the recent issue while running yesterday. I brought up the Sedaris piece and mike said he thought Sedaris was going for "touching" in addition to the humor and so maybe that's what's different.

so flash-forward to yesterday night while I was reading Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim. I read the essay called "the end of the affair." the article is both funny and touching and I thought it summed up love so well that I had to write about it here. it [the article] is about how Sedaris and his partner of 10-or-so years (Hugh) go to see a "romantic" movie (the end of the affair). after seeing the movie Hugh seems to become annoyed at the normal, boringness of their lives together (which is typical of most couples who have been together for a while). so Sedaris writes:

I encouraged him to look on the bright side. "Listen," I said. "we maybe don't live in wartime London, but in terms of the occassional bomb scare, Paris is a pretty close second. We both love bacon and country music, what more could you possibly want?"

What more could he want? It was an incredibly stupid question and when he failed to answer, I was reminded of just how lucky I truly am. Movie characters might chase each other through the fog or race down the stairs of burning buildings, but that's for beginners. Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings. I wanted to say something to this effect, but my hand puppets were back home in their drawer. Instead, I pulled my chair a few inches closer, and we sat silently at our little table on the square, looking for all the world like two people in love.

see what I mean?

better!

I'm going to cast my vote for antibiotics as one of the best inventions ever and I think that actual, scientific people would agree with me on that one.

anyway, I took some last week and the ickiness I was experiencing is gone. I no longer feel like I'm in a fog of sickness. I can breathe again. I can hear again. I can taste again. all is right with the world.

Rules to live by

I have two important rules to live by in my life:

1. NEVER go to the grocery store when you're hungry.

and 2. Never, under any circumstances, eat Ben and Jerry's out of the carton.

I've added a third to my list which is never make any important decisions when you're sick/taking cold medicine. I've been sick for about a week. I'm taking all sorts of drugs and my mental and emotional state is sort of "iffy" at best. On top of that, because I've been sick I haven't been doing much or seeing many people and so I've been sitting around, thinking about all the major stuff in my life while watching trashy TV and I just think it's a bad combination. Bad. Bad. Bad. I think I need a carton of Ben and Jerry's to take my mind off of all of this...

mid-day tuesday. in my office with door shut. can't keep out the sound of thunder. seems to be right above my head. maybe slightly to the left. and loud.

semi-geeky post

reading this recent article in the New Yorker made me think of simplicity vs. functions in the context of my two iPods. I have a "regular," 20G iPod and I also have a shuffle. although the shuffle has less functionality than the regular, I think I like it more. definitely, I use it more.

sure, the shuffle only holds about 250 songs but really, I'm usually obsessed with no more than 100 songs at a given time so why do I need to have all of my music available all the time? there are, however, times when the regular iPod is better: extended traveling, a boring day at work. and if my computer ever crashes, I'll have a backup of all my music. however when I'm driving or running or riding my bike or just going, the simplicity of the shuffle far outweighs the functionality of the regular. (plus the shuffle is green and the regular is white and that's better too!)

it's funny though. we get so caught up in being able to have the most options that we forget to think about the reality of how the object will be used and whether or not it will serve us well. we're so concerned with getting the most that we don't pay attention to the quality of what we're getting (think "super size" and mcdonalds). yes, it's true - we may get a lot. but if what we're getting isn't good for us, then do we really want it?

anyway, somebody give me some work to do soon so I'll stop being so darn philosophical!!!!

I heart my ipod shuffle. it's almost like the perfect boyfriend. the shuffle is there for me when I need it to be and it understands my wants and needs. case in point: the other day I went for a trail run and just as I was about to tackle a hill, my shuffle started to played "don't stop believing" (that's right, Journey). shuffle didn't judge me for my musical taste. it just picked what was it thought was best for that particular moment. I could have kissed it.

with not much going on at work today, I spent a few hours messing with the playlist on my shuffle. I also played a few rounds of this game . it's an education game so I learned a few things. for example, did you know that milk can help prevent PMS? well, actually I think it's the calcium that helps. an even better argument for more ice cream!

I found the game through the adobe edge newsletter, which is sent to my work account so that I can research multimedia stuff and keep us on the cutting edge (or whatever). so my game playing was totally work related... um... yeah. that would explain why I thought it was best to play with my door closed...

today's word is stupid

warning in advance: I'm a little cranky today.

every day I get an email with the word of the day from Merriam-Websters and I have to say that today's word is downright pointless. the word is prothalamion which means "a song in celebration of a marriage." while I don't believe that songs in celebration of marriage are pointless, I believe that this word is pointless because when will I ever use it?

come on, m-w.com. don't you know that I only really like the words I can use to subtly insult the people and situations around me? geez.

the iPods understand

I just got an iPod shuffle and I'm finding it to be the most amazing little thing ever! We are going for a run today after work. I wonder if my regular ipod feels bad. It [the regular iPod] used to go running with me back in the day but I think that it [the regular iPod] is more of a special occasion device and the shuffle is more of an every day thing. It's sort of like the Ben and Jerry's vs other ice cream. You don't indulge in that stuff every day. No, no, no. The everyday ice cream (yes, I really do eat the much ice cream) needs to be something with a little less fat and calories, a little less "special." Otherwise, the charm of the peanut butter filled pretzels is gone. So, the regular iPod is Chubby Hubby and the shuffle is a skinny cow . I love them both in their own way and I think they get that.

I recently (yesterday) joined the local freecycle group and I can't stop thinking of things I could maybe give away. I have so much stuff that I just don't need but it's too good to throw away. So I keep it, thinking I'll eventually get around to selling it on Craigs List or maybe I'll have a yard sale but then I never do. I had one yard sale once and while I made a few hundred dollars, it wasn't the most positive experience. There's something strange about your life being on display for strangers to pick through and judge. And there's also the dilemma of what to call the sale when you don't really have a yard or a garage. For someone trained in the art of crafting words, that can be a problem.

But anyway, I think freecycle is a good idea because it promotes reuse/recycling instead of just throwing things away. Given the over-consumptive nature of our society, it's a good thing.

And speaking of over-consumption (as I unnecessarily snack on the Icelandic chocolate bar my friend J. gave me after her recent trip...)the weather's good here and so I've started riding my bike to work again. I rode in three times last week which saved me approximately 60 miles of driving, which saved approximately two gallons of gas. In addition to the earth friendly stuff, the commuting enabled me to not feel bad about snacking on the Icelandic chocolate bar so it's good all around (except when that big bug flew right into the side of my head. That kind of hurt.).

Okay, enough with the hippie stuff. I'm off to Starbucks!

there's just no need

so I rode my bike to work today. then I went for a run during lunch. and in a few hours, I have to ride home.

whimper.

but as a reward for all this exercise stuff, I just bought myself a green iPod shuffle.

I realize this is a bit of an inside joke for those of you who have heard the story so sorry in advance to those of you who haven't. Anyway, I was browsing through the new Patagonia catalog yesterday and this product description made me laugh:

"It's a shame more travel companions can't be like our Undercover Cami – reliable, ready for action, supportive and, best of all, zero complaining when the weather turns bad."

Would have been the perfect top to have in Hawaii. ;)

I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm impressed with our government.

I'm expecting a pretty decent return from the IRS this year and since I filed my taxes at the semi-last minute (post-marked April 14th) I haven't gotten it [the return] yet.

I went to the IRS website to see if they had any info on how long it typically takes to get one's return and low and behold, they have a return tracking feature that's easy to find (prominently displayed on the top, center of the page) and easy to use. now we just need to wait and see if the info is right.

the return tracking feature informed me that so long as "they" don't find any mistakes (oh god, please, please, please don't find any mistakes!) I'll have my refund by May 29th.

evidence of continued exuberance

sometimes I wonder if I'll ever become one of those mature people, those people whose careers are more important than their personal lives, those people who act all serious all the time, those people who shower every day before work.

sometimes I worry this will happen and then other times I know that it won't. for example, I just spent the past 45 minutes searching for a "let's hear it for the boy" ringtone for my cell phone to use when Boy calls. (it's perfect but btw, I wasn't able to find a good one so if any of you know where I can find this, lemme know.)

however, on the job front, it seems I'm going to be moving into a new position at work, one that's more in line with my "career goals" (wait, do I have those?) and more in line with the stuff I like to do. rumor has it, some time in June I'll be moving to the marketing department to become the "content strategist" for the websites for the new joint venture company that IBM is forming out of my department. this sounds important. and I think it may turn out to actually be important. but most importantly, I think it will be fun and creative and I'll get to make lots of creative (and non-creative) decisions and then tell other people to make them happen. it's the perfect job for me!

but still, I'm saying "rumor has it" because 'round here, one never knows. anyway, back to the ringtone search!

flickr scares me sometimes...

okay, so as we all know, I have a flickr account and mostly, I love it. it's pretty interesting to share your photos, check out other peoples', communicate with friends, etc.

but recently... I was notified that someone added one of my pictures to his/her "favorites" list. the picture s/he chose was a closeup of my right foot on the black sand beach in Hawaii. I clicked on the person's link to learn some more about him/her. s/he had no photos to display and no profile info. and (here's where things get a little strange) all of the pictures in his/her "favorites" section were closeups of feet.

so... um... I don't even really want to say it but, well, I couldn't help but think foot fetish.

two things ho related

#1 - Don Ho died and that makes sense because when I saw him this past October, the man was pretty much on death's door.

#2 - HoHo's are celebrating their 40th birthday and did you know that Pittsburghers consume more HoHo's than anyone else in the world. that's kind of strange.

and I guess this one should be like #2a. people in Chicago consume more Twinkies than anyone else in the world. also kind of strange.

because of the HoHo conversation, my friend B. went to the vending machine and bought some DingDongs. they are not HoHo's but they're close. he was unable to eat the DingDongs once he saw how many calories they contained so he gave them to me(he is a volunteer fire fighter and his goal is to make it into the fire fighter calendar, you know - shirtless.)

I have to tell you, the DingDongs look good. however, I can't quite bring myself to eat something that contains "beef fat" yet is not a beef product...

Tuesday, 2:36 pm.

okay, this is actually an important question: I'm wearing some of those "noise reducing" headphones right now and, for some reason, it seems like I'm breathing with a little difficulty. why might this be?

Tuesday, 12:44 pm.

okay, I'm still bored and so I decided to just randomly search blogs and see what came up and I discovered that Jesus has a blog and it's aswesome. :) (see, the emoticon lets you know that I really mean it!)

Tuesday, 12:09 pm.

okay, in case you're as bored as me you can read this article from the New Yorker about email style (or eStyle, as they call it). I'm definitely usually a lower-case non-punctuators, even at work. I'm also glad to see that exclamation points are catching on. and emoticons, as well. the thing is, the more people use them, the more people expect to see them and so you could be burned if you don't include a little winky guy from time to time.

anyway, I once dated a guy who almost always used the "respond in portions" method which is just so icky, even when done by a lower-case non-punctuator. ;)

Tuesday, 12:03 pm.

I'm at work and I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored.

Interestingly enough, this morning I made the comment that I don't really get bored. Goes to show me because I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored.

pictures, phase 1

friday I "worked" from home and finally got my pictures from the Grand Canyon/Moab trip uploaded to my flickr account. hopefully you've bookmarked the link to my account but in case you haven't, here it is again: my flickr account.

I plan to get my monterey pictures uploaded tomorrow, or at least before I leave thursday for my next trip. this weekend I'll be in longboat key, florida , hanging out with boy and his parents.

technically, I've already met his parents but that was before we were dating so at first I thought it was no big deal to make a trip across the entire country to hang with his peeps. however,it's kind of a big deal, making a special trip to hang out with the parents, isn't it? is this too big of a deal or am I just maybe having a small freakout moment and making too big of a deal out of this deal?

well regardless of the deal, 80 degrees + sunny + beach always = good.

For the second weekend in a row, I was away - this time in Monterey, CA visiting my cousin, Jen and her husband Noble, an occasional guest commenter to my blog. It was a fantastic
weekend - the weather was great, we did tons of fun stuff, ate tons of
yummy food, and the Easter Bunny was even able to find me on Sunday
morning!

For the first time ever, I felt like an official Colorado resident. We did a bit of hiking in Big Sur
on Saturday. The hike was pretty much uphill the entire way and I
didn't feel it at all. Guess I'm finally adjusted to this altitude
thing...

Again, lots of pictures and I promise to have them
uploaded some time this weekend but probably not tonight because a) I'm
exhausted!!!! and b) I'm going to a hot yoga class with friends J. and
C. I've never been to hot yoga before and I'm a little worried that I'm
going to have the song gonna
make you sweat by C + C music factory stuck in my head the
whole time. Then again, I think I'm too tired to do yoga and think at
the same time.

On a slight side note, I thought this
article was kind of funny but I'm wondering if that's because
I'm tired and giddy. Thoughts?

moldy muffins

upon returning from my trip, I realized I had no food so yesterday, I bought some english muffins from the crappy little market down the street from me. I had one yesterday and it tasted a little funky, kind of like dirt. I thought maybe it was just me. but this morning, when I opened up the package I noticed copious amounts of mold. gross.

so the dilemma is do I take the muffins back or just through them out? I debated over this for a few minutes but then decided to just through them out and then never buy muffins (or bread products) from the crappy little market again.

anyway, I'm back from my trip and I had a great time. we put close to 2000 miles on our red, rented ford focus in about five days. here, basically, is what we did:

Tuesday night: loaded up the "car" after "work" and drove south toward the "land of enchantment" (a.k.a. New Mexico). didn't make it. spent the night in a days inn somewhere south of pueblo. oh, also got pulled over in some dinky little town but the lady cop said she just wanted to make sure we were okay and let us go without even checking id's.

Wednesday: said good bye to Colorado and hello to New Mexico. spent some time in Taos and I have to say that I'm not sure I understand what all the hype is about. it was incredibly touristy and consumer driven. though I did have the best carrot cake I've ever had at this artsy little coffee shop where boy kept bumping into the table, eventually spilling about half of my americano. tried to make it to Flagstaff by Wednesday night but got stuck in a random snow storm thing that caused an accident that caused the highway to be shut down for an hour and a half so we ended up staying in Winslow, AZ instead. no biggie.

Thursday: finally made it to the grand canyon. it was snowing and boy hadn't brought any cold weather clothes, despite my caution of "in the 40's and snowing on Thursday..." our conversation over lunch went something like this:

boy: I can't believe it's snowing...
me (dressed in winter coat with hat and gloves): um, yeah well I looked at the forecast before we left and saw that it was going to snow so I told you that we'd need to pack warmer clothes.
boy: you did?
me (with cocky, I-told-you-so look on my face): yeah, I did.
boy: well to be honest, I'm only listening to you about 50% of the time you're talking.
me: hmm... that's probably for the best.

the weather being what it was, we hung out at the lodge, drank beer, and tried to get reservations for the sky walk but couldn't probably because of the mass hysteria that thing is causing. the sky walk was also about four hours away from so it didn't happen this trip.

Friday: better weather! hiked three miles down into the canyon and, after being scared by all of the "it takes a billion hours to get back up from here" signs we decided to turn around. found out that living in boulder, you often forget how in shape you are compared to normal folk but quickly realized this fact as we smoked people left and right coming up the trail. boy was pretty much running which I think was partly to blame on the fact I told him about the theory that everyone you pass becomes your slave in hell. made it out of the canyon in about an hour (faster than we had gone down). picked up a butt load of slaves that day and were claimed by no one.

Friday night: headed to Moab. drove through Monument Valley at sunset to get there (probably the coolest part of the trip). got a room at a motel 6, which is boy's favorite cheap motel chain. however, being in Moab, it was not so cheap. and I was not so impressed.

Saturday: ate an incredibly yummy breakfast and then went to Arches NP.hiked around. again, felt physically superior to the "others" but were passed by two incredibly in-shape, younger looking guys. drat. hung out in Moab. drank beer. ate ice cream. decided another night at motel 6 wasn't needed so headed back to boulder. got back late and happily drifted to sleep in familiar surroundings.


I took tons and tons of pictures on the trip which I will eventually upload to flickr. however, it won't be today because I'm going to opening day at Coors field where I will be doing my best not to drink any Coors.

1:43 in the afternoon and I just got done doing the only thing I needed to do at work today which was go to a meeting and nod my head.

Last Friday, I officially completed all of the work that I have to do. My fellow team members are off this week. My boss is off too. As of Wednesday, I'll be off too. Boy and I are going on a Grand Canyon/Utah trip for a few days. I've never been to the Southwest before (unless you count Colorado and I don't count Colorado) so I'm pretty excited. I hope to be eating salsa at every meal.

Because I don't have any work to do, I spent most of my time today messing around with my flickr account. I've had one for a few years but only recently started using it. I thought about how much of my life you could piece together from my pictures/comments and I think you could probably piece together a lot. You could know my name, who my friends are, the state in which I live and maybe even the town. And if you figured out the town and you were really, really good, you might be able to figure out where I live.

Maybe now is a good time to throw out the fact that I earned my black belt in kung fu in December 2005. I also like to cook and so I own a number of sharp knives. ok? ok.

I think everyone needs someone in their life who will, from time to time, send them an email that contains something like, oh, I don't know, the William Tell Overture, and no explanation as to why.

they made me do it

I had no choice, no control, no ability to change it. I just wrote the following sentence and there's nothing I can do about it:

"To access the preprinted mark/tractor hole sensors, open the upper center
front and lower center front covers of the printer."

huh?

can you believe we actually named the things the "upper center front cover" and the "lower center front cover"? and these people make more money than I do. sometimes I think I'm in bizarro world...

Fearful people do stupid things

That's what the bumper sticker on the car in front of me said. Before that, while I was in my car, my theme song for the year came on (it's 32 flavors, the Alana Davis version, because I'm 32...) and the line "I never tried to give my life meaning by demeaning you" resonated with me. I've always been aware of the statement but because of everything I went through in 2006, I heard it more tonight.

Before that, when I was in the parking lot after yoga, it was dark out but I noticed a bright patch of sky behind the mountains, the sun setting. It made me think about the cyclic nature of the physical world (the day, the seasons, etc) and that made me think about the cyclic nature of our lives. There are good patches. There are rough patches. Neither one will last forever. Both will be part of your life. And it's good to have them both.

Before that, in my yoga class, the teacher had been talking about times when she had acted badly and didn't like who she was at that particular time. She said she was so grateful to have the friends she did because they loved her enough, believed in her enough, to give her the space to be off center, to know that she would grow and wouldl again be in a better place. It made me think of P. and how, during my bad time last year, he wasn't able to love me, believe in me, enough to know that I would grow and come back to a better place. I used to be incredibly hurt by that but what it comes down to is that he doesn't love himself, believe in himself enough to do that for himself and so he couldn't love or believe for anyone else.

Fearful people do stupid things. There is no object, no person, place or thing, in that sentence to indicate to whom or what fearful people do stupid things and I think sometimes what we forget is that fearful people hurt themselves, too. Actually, they probably hurt themselves more than they hurt others. Cause if you're actually happy and you're happy with yourself, then there's really no need to be mean to others. There's no reason to want them to feel bad, to make them look bad to others, etc. Sometims it seems so simple I'm not sure why we don't all get it. Then, other times, I know.

upset

last night I was watching b-ball with boy and we watched duke lose which made me happier than you'd think. why do I not like duke? it might the fact that the b-ball team looks like a bunch of rich, tall snooty white guys. and it might be the fact that everyone I've ever met who has gone to duke also looked like rich, tall, snooty white guys. this is not to say that they were rich, tall, and snooty but it's kind of creepy, really, how people from duke seem to look so similar.

anyway, I think it's my need to constantly root for the underdog that made me so happy. hopefully there will be more opportunities to root for underdogs in all of this madness this march. boy is rather sporty and so I'm sure there will be more b-ball watching. it's funny but I think that other's I've date (or maybe married...) would have thought that march madness was a sale at banana republic.

For the third day in a row, it could not be more beautious here. 70 degrees and sunny. I'm going to duck out of work a wee bit early to go for a little trail run. Life is good sometimes, you know.

happy saturday to me!

In a town where it's sunny over 300 days a year, I've come to think if it as a little gift when you get a weekend morning that's cloudy and overcast and perfect for lying on the couch, drinking tea and reading while listening to non-upbeat music. no pressure to go hike up anything or even to shower.

last night I dreamt that I went to the library and spent all day exploring the children's section, looking for books from my youth and so today I feel I must go to the library and spend some time exploring the children's section, looking for books from my youth.

last night I went to a party for my neighbor who was celebrating her womanhood. she has been a woman for the past eight years and I wonder if she had been so graceful and elegant before she was a women. but maybe not. I think her's is a grace and elegance that comes from being completely comfortable with yourself and I think before eight years ago, she didn't have that.

the party was filled with the non-athletic side of boulder, which is nice to see every now and then. most people had some kind of connection to Naropa and a few were connected to the Psychic Horizons Center. They got me thinking that the pain in my lower back, which started last July, is not exercise or matress related and that, like Abby's occassional peeing on the carpet, may be related to traumatic events from my childhood that I have yet to successfully deal with. A woman who's apperance sparked a core emotional rememberance of both my mother and my sister made me think that they're right. And interestingly enough, my back already feels better.

it's semi-gray and cloudy right now and because I've grown so accustomed to seeing the sun, the weather makes me want to sleep. however, the sun is breaking through the clouds and soon it will be another beautiful day in boulder. but it's interesting how used to the sun I've gotten and it makes me wonder if I'd ever be able to live in a cloudy city like Pittsburgh again.

anyway, yesterday was my officemate's last day. she quit to go be "director of usability" at some small web-design firm. the firm only has about ten people working for it so not only will she be the director of usability, she'll pretty much be the usability department. it sort of reminds me of a girl I know who does her own freelance thing and has her own "company." she's the only employee but that doesn't stop her from billing herself as "lead visionary." puh-leez.

this move is good for my officemate because she's excited about the job. this move is good for me because, at times, my officemate could be a little mean and dysfunctional. there are no hard feelings though - she honestly couldn't help it (the being mean thing). but given the high number of dysfunctional people that were in my life in 2006, I'm glad to be getting them outta there in 2007.

the move is also good for me because I'm planning to turn my ex-officemate's desk into a coffee/pastry bar starting next week. my friend b. is bringing in a coffee maker that he doesn't use. I'll supply the first lb. of coffee, the sugar, and the milk products and then, hopefully, the venture will turn into a self-sustaining enterprise.

I'm thinking it will work like this: $.50 a day for unlimited coffee or $2.00 a week. that's more than enough to buy supplies for the cafe. then, when we start to see a small profit, I'll turn that money into various baked goods. the goal is to eventually get enough money to buy an espresso maker and a small fridge so I can start doing froofy beverages and perhaps light lunches.

yep, that's right - these are now my career goals.

how long do you think I can stay in business before I'm shutdown by the health department or threaten by the cafeteria workers because I'm stealing all of their business?

So I read this article in the NY Times and was struck by how one little line can say so much about, well, pretty much everything:

"In so-called attachment studies, young children or primates who are confident in their mother’s affections tend to be confident when exploring an unfamiliar room or meeting a stranger.

Whether you can relate to this sort of thing or not, chances are you know someone who can. And it's a good article. So you should read it.

Old meets new

My friend Mark (above) was my neighbor and one of my best friends in Pittsburgh. He and some other friends from PGH were staying in Breckenridge this weekend so I went up to hang out with them with Jessica (below) who is my neighbor and one of my best friends in Boulder. It was as if parallel worlds were meeting.



It sounds a lot like a girl scout song but it's nice when your old friends meet your new friends and it's copasetic. "Make new friends but keep the old. One's a samoa the other's a do-si-do..."

I'm a little worn out from it all (making a snow angel at 9,000 feet takes more oxygen than you would think) so I've spent most of the day being productive while sitting on my butt and by that I mean watching the Godfather, followed by the Godfather, Part II. That's a solid 8 hours of TV. I'm so proud of me.

This recent cartoon from the New Yorker hit a little too close to home for me, especially since I have been known to blog about the breakfast burritos in the cafeteria.

Decisions, decisions

It's Tuesday night and that means one thing for me - Dog the Bounty Hunter. I'm not sure why but I've been watching way too much of this show lately but I'm not worried about it. This phase will pass, just like my MTV Cribs phase passed.

But here's what's tough: tonight I realized that my other favorite show, Hogan Knows Best, is also on AT THE SAME TIME. This is a tough one. Both shows are good in the same trashy way, which is probably why they're on opposite of one another. Drat.

Okay, I've actually been working at work and because I do most of my blogging at work, I haven't been able to update you guys (assuming you guys are still reading) on my life in a while. So, let's see... what did you guys maybe miss...

1. IBM is in the process of selling off my division, which is why I've been so busy at work. I still have a job and will continue to have a job but the prospects of working for some other, more exciting part of IBM, the prospects that got me to take the job in the first place, are gone, at least for the next two years. But for the short-term (like the next six months) I think the job might actually be fun. Our division is eventually going to become its own company so there are lots of start-up type things to do like pick a new logo, font, idetity, etc. I've managed to wedge my foot onto some of the committees that are taking care of these things so it hasn't been all bad.

2. I have a boy. He is my friend. You could say that he is my boyfriend.

3. It's winter in Colorado so I've been snowboarding and it actually seems as if I'm getting less bad. I spent last weekend in Breckenridge with some friends (pictures to follow) and this weekend is the 7th Anual Norm Fest celebration so I'll be in the mountains again. Ah yes, life is rough, isn't it?

But yes, it is rough! The hulkster or the dog? See what I mean?

This place is an anomaly in a lot of ways so it's always nice to know that some things are the same wherever you go. For example, after living in Colorado for almost a year, I finally went and got my new CO drivers license today. Like other towns/cities, places like the bus station and the DMV in Boulder are just as full of seedy looking characters as elsewhere.

But, given the fact that Boulder itself does not have lots of seedy looking characters, I'm wondering if there's something about bus stations/DMV offices that attracts the seedy or is there something about these places that makes the people in them appear seedy?

So maybe, even though I don't think I look all that seedy in everyday life, I looked seedy today at the DMV?

This could explain why drivers license pictures always look so bad.

I'm hearing voices...

I used to have this job monitoring "mission critical" systems. basically, I sat around and waited for something to break. when there was breakage, I'd have to call someone and ask them to fix it. this was an "important" job so the position was staffed 24/7/365. we took turns working the midnight shift, 11 pm to 7 am. when I worked the midnight shift, I would often need to call people in the middle of the night and tell them they had to come in to work.

not surprisingly, nine out of ten people are cranky when you wake them up at 3:00 in the morning so to help ease tensions, I developed a "phone voice." the voice was calm and soothing and slightly deep and throaty. I didn't develop this voice consciously, more out of necessity. but now that I'm aware the voice exists, I've come to notice that others, whether they are aware of it or not, have special voices that they use in specific situations.

for example, they guy in the office across the hall from me definitely talks louder when he's actually working. luckily, he doesn't work that often but right now, he must be working with the guy who's tone and cadence can best be described as a grumpy/crotchety George W. my door is shut and it still sounds like the two are right over my shoulder talking about the "internets." good god.

Yesterday, I tried to break up with my job.

I had my yearly review meeting with my boss and while my review was not bad, it was not stellar, either. I would be fine with the mediocre label if I were in a challenging job, one in which I was able to leverage my skills, one that made me actually use my brain every now and then. However, being in a job where I'm working at about 30% capacity, my review sort of pissed me off. You can't tell me I haven't created enough "influence" in the department when you've given me no opportunities to influence. This is like reprimanding me for not eating enough carrots when you didn't give me any carrots.

See what I'm saying?

There was a time in my life where I would have let it go and not said anything. But I am not that person any more. After going over the my evaluation, my boss asked me if I "had any concerns." "Yes," I said. "I have lots."

Our conversation then turned into something one might have at the end of a bad relationship.

I told my boss everything that was wrong, everything that just wasn't working, every reason why this particular position in this particular department just wasn't a good match for me. I tried to be as polite and nonjudgmental as possible. I said lots of things like "this place is perfect for a certain type of person and, unfortunately, I'm just not that type of person..." In other words, it's not you, it's me.

But my boss just couldn't understand why I was unhappy or what was wrong. And at times, she looked like she was going to cry. She kept talking about the potential and the opportunities. The more she talked, the more I disliked my job.

"Are you thinking about leaving?" she asked. "We really don't want you to leave." I didn't say "yes" but I didn't say "no" either. When I left the meeting, I felt slightly detached from the job, like I just didn't care any more, like even though my job and I are still together, I'm already starting to move on.

If I had been dating my job, I would have broken up with it yesterday. However, unlike a relationship, you can't breakup with your job. You have to quit. And while it's generally judged to be a bit shady to start seeing someone else before you've ended your current relationship, this practice is the norm with the jobs which means I have to really, seriously begin the job search thing. Yuck.

Oh well. At least I get to buy myself new clothes for whatever interviews I might get.

I'll give you three guesses what it's doing here again today...

as we all know, there's not much going on for me on the work front and there's nothing new with that so I'm spending some time reading the NY Times and I guess there's nothing new with that either.

anyway, I came across this article about "experiential advertising" which I was interested in, probably because of the near miss with the interview with cp+b a few weeks ago and anyway, this post is all sort of stream-of-consciousness and whatever but it [the article] got me thinking about over-saturation/over-use and when, exactly, it is that a thing/idea/concept begins to lose its novelty and effectiveness.

so many brands now a days seem to have what the article calls "brand ambassadors" and while these fellas were (and still are) interesting and therefore effective, once other brands jump on the band wagon, the bandwagon will become full of these brand mascot type people and then will you even really notice them any more? so I guess my question is (and I'm not really expecting you to answer or even think about it) at this point, should a company try to develop a brand ambassador or should the company instead invest its efforts into finding a new, novel way to advertise their brand?

of course, as with everything in life, advertising is probably about the ebb and the flow. so, as with everything in life, how do you know when you're shifting from ebb to flow or from flow to ebb? how do you tell if its time to move on or if its time to stay?

or do you even concern yourself with these things? maybe if you're living in the moment, you can sense the ebb and flow on some primordial level. so maybe it's over thinking that's the problem. I think I'm over thinking right now and I think I wouldn't be if I actually had some work to do... [sigh].

song du jour

"what is the song du jour?"
"it's the song of the day..."
"that sounds good. I'll have that."

for some reason, I can't stop listening to Little Red Corvette. it's as if the whole world is conatined in lines like "I guess I should have known by the way you parked your car sideways that it wouldn't last" and other lines of equal or greater value.

is this a problem? no, it's not because it's almost Wednesday night. I guess that makes it all right.

snappingoutofit

I think some of you are looking for a little recap of my holiday season so here you go:

the holidays are officially over and I can't help but think that I didn't eat enough cookies this year.

I spent the holidays in Pittsburgh - eating too much, shopping too much, and not sleeping nearly enough. I did, however, buy the cutest pair of shoes, kind of like these but more of a brownish-grey.

I may have been worn out from all of the shopping and going out with friends but personally, I like to use the time zone discrepancy thing because you can use it as an excuse to be lazy no matter which direction you're going:

me (while in Pittsburgh) - "Oh, gee, I'm feeling kinda tired because I'm used to being two hours behind..."

me (back in Colorado) - "Oh, gee, I'm feeling kinda tired because I'm used to being two hours ahead..."

this could explain why it took me three days to work up the energy to shovel my car out from the most recent dumping of snow out here. honestly, I'm a little sick of it - the snow, the shoveling, the frosty walks with the dog that she loves so much more than I do. let's just hope we get more than a week between snow storms this time around.

despite the snow, I made it back into town on Friday without any problems. for New Years, I went to Denver with some friends and hung out at this bar. it's probably my favorite bar in Denver, which doesn't mean a whole lot seeing as I've only been to about five bars in Denver. but still, this is my favorite one.

yesterday I watched a lot of football and went to see Babel. although many have criticized the movie for it's jumbliness, I didn't find that. in fact, I rather liked the movie and found it to be semi-powerful on some base level. then again, I was pretty tired and so maybe my mind didn't catch all of the things that I missed. I also thought that Brad Pitt did a decent job in the movie and was actually pretty good so that shows you something about my mental capacity yesterday afternoon.

let's see, what else... oh, this morning when I got in to work I had to change all of my passwords that had expired over the break and now, I can't remember what I changed those passwords too. this wouldn't be a problem if I hadn't gotten logged out of my email, without a clue as to what my password might be. and that should tell you something about my mental capacity right now.

so recovering from a blizzard seems to take longer than I remember. or maybe we're all just using this as an excuse to stay home from work. judging by the number of skiers across the street, I'd say that's what we're doing.

I'm home from work again today for the third day in a row. while it was thrilling on Wednesday when, as the snow was falling, my neighbors and I were hanging out, drinking wine, and feeling cozy. Yesterday we (the neighbors and I) went snowshoeing in the morning and that was nice too. but today... today might just be a wee bit much. and because I don't have much to do that hasn't already been done, I'll probably spend most of the day stressing about whether or not the Denver airport will be back to normal by the time I fly out on Sunday.

so for all of you who are wondering if I'm going to make it home with out any problems, it's too early to tell. I have a few friends flying out today and tomorrow. I'll see how it goes for them... (yes, of course ...)

Sorry in advance for the egregious use of punctuation but oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so in a serendipitous (yes, that is the word of the year) turn of events, I have an interview this afternoon with Crispin Porter and Bogusky. They're an advertising agency that has done incredibly cool commercials such as those crazy Burger King ads with the King and the chicken, the Miller Lite "Man Law" ads, the IKEA "sad lamp" thing, the tobacco "Truth" campaign, and soooooooo many more.

They're based in Miami but they just opened an office in Boulder that they need to staff. They want to interview me to be an "Integrated Producer" which basically means I would manage the teams that create the ads. It's the job I was meant to do. I'm perfect for it. How could they not want me? Is it wrong for me to say that?

Okay, okay, okay. Obviously, I won't be drinking coffee today.

Luckily, it's a phone interview and I'm working from home (because of the crazy snow we're supposed to get today) so I'll be able to wear my PJ's and mindlessly flip through TV channels during the interview. It always makes me feel better to wear my PJ's and mindlessly flip through TV channels during intense conversations. Well, unless one of CPB's commercials comes on... Then I'll get all worked up again. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!

As if the doggie acupuncture wasn't a clear enough sign, I just realized that I've totally and completely assimilated myself to the laid back, West Coast type Boulder lifestyle. I just read this article in the New York Times about people being too busy to chat with doormen, (which makes me wonder, do they have door women?)hair stylist, sales clerks, etc. and I found it funny how people in larger, east coast cities are "too busy" to interface with the people around them. So many people are so busy creating their life, their image, etc, that they're too busy to live the life that's actually in front of them.

But a few weeks ago, a friend of mine from back east was in town visiting. We were at a martini bar in Boulder at like 3:00 on a Saturday afternoon. The bartender was carefully crafting our martinis with excruciating attention. We were the only people in the bar but still, it took us like 20 minutes to get our drinks. While I was a wee bit amused at the spectacle my friend definitely was not and it made me realize there was a time when I would have felt the same way.

When I first moved out here, I remember getting completely annoyed at a cashier at the grocery store who wanted to chat with me about his new job teaching English in Japan. As he was talking, I was thinking "Just put my groceries in the bag and let me get out of here..." and that seems so silly to me now. Why not stop and chat and take your time? Where are you going that's so important anyway? Life is here. Now. Not somewhere else.

But who knows, maybe I'll feel differently after I get back from spending next week in the eastern time zone, with cloudy skies and crappy weather, after I've re-learned to jump the light when making a left-hand turn...

The year of me.

Last year, my birthday seemed to mark the start of a year of bad juju. I could go into details but there’s no point in reliving the ugliness so let’s just say that it was probably, no, no, it was the worst birthday I’ve ever had.

Unfortunately, my birthday was just the beginning of it all. The day after the birthday mess, I was rear ended by a bus. And although my car and I were okay, it was bizarre and upsetting. Then a few days later my furnace broke and it was like 13 degrees out. And that probably contributed to my developing strep throat the next week, a few days before Christmas. (Sorry to everyone I infected while I was out Christmas shopping that week.)

And then on New Year’s Eve eve, I fell down the steps and sprained my ankle.

And then it was new years and I thought "Okay, great. December was just a bad month. It's all going to be over in the new year…" But then it wasn't.

I'll spare you the litany of bad things that have happened to me this past year but honestly, I’m not exaggerating when I say it was craziness. CRAZINESS.

So to sort of get beyond the juju and move into a new phase of life, this year I marked my birthday by participating in a symbolic ritual that a friend of mine calls “feats of strength.” What is feats of strength? Well for me it was 32 vinyasas on Saturday morning (after being out pretty late the night before). Although my arms felt a little rubbery when feats of strength was over, my insides felt good. It was one of those beautiful days in Boulder, the sun was out, not a cloud in the sky, and the mountains were sparkling in the background as I sipped my smoothie.

Maybe it was the vinyasas or maybe I’m just due for a streak of good luck (my horoscope in the November issue of Teen Vogue said that things were going to be looking up for me this year…) but whatever the cause, my birthday, while not full of pomp and circumstance, was definitely one of the better ones.

Don’t get me wrong, there was a bit of pomp and there was also a bit of circumstance (anyone who’s ever done anything close to 32 vinyasas will know what I’m talking about) but the one thing that was missing was the negative energy that’s plagued my life for the past year and that’s fine by me. How does the saying go? Good riddance to bad rubbish, or something along those lines.

So, a number of you have already heard the unofficial news but I’d like to officially announce that this year is “the year of LeeAnn.” There’s a theme song and everything. I know it’s early and everything but you may want to place your order for the year in review DVD that will be available for purchase this time next year…

it's snowy again this morning, nice, fluffy, powdery stuff. it's a cozy coffee and breakfast morning and as odd as this might sound for those of you who know what I'm talking about, I woke up missing the square cafe.

it may have been because I had a late night conversation about pumpkin pie and I woke up wanting the pumpkin walnut pancakes that one can find at the square cafe. there are no pumpkin walnut pancakes that I know of around here. however, Jessica (my neighbor) apparently baked a pumpkin cake last night and left a piece of it at my door this morning. how serendipitous.

re-in love

so over the past week or so, I've re-fallen in love with Boulder. as you'll recall, I loved it that first summer I was here as an intern but when I moved back in February, I wasn't as into it as I had been.

but I dunno... there's just been something about this place the last few days. that something may be that it's been 70 and sunny and down right gorgeous. or it may be that they remodeled whole foods and it's even better than it was before. or it may be that I'm going to yoga more regularly again.

or maybe it's that this morning, my friend Mike and I rode in to work in the glorious weather. we got here late, then went for coffee and ate pumpkin nut muffins while discussing the differences between the political climate of 1960's America vs. now. then I did about a half hour of work before I was told I could go home whenever I wanted. and I want to go home now. and so I am. and life is good.

would it be too single-woman in her 30's of me to have mine and Abby's picture taken with Santa?

Why do I always get pulled into meetings with the big wigs, you know, the vp, the gm, etc, on days when I wake up and think "you know, it's probably okay if I don't shower today..."?

For reasons of which I will spare you the details, I felt like rereading one of my favorite poems by William Matthews:

Job Interview

Think you, if Laura had been Petrarch's wife
He would have written sonnets all his life?
DON JUAN, III, 63-4

"Where do you see yourself five years from now?"
the eldest male member (or is "male member"
a redundancy?) of the committee
asked me. "Not here," I thought. A good thing I

speak fluent Fog. I craved that job like some
unappeasable, taunting woman.
What did Byron's friend Hobhouse say after
the wedding? "I felt as if I had buried

a friend." Each day I had that job I felt
the slack leash at my throat and thought what was
its other trick. Better to scorn the job than ask
what I had ever seen in it or think

what pious muck I'd ladled over
the committee. If they believed me, they
deserved me. As luck would have it, the job
lasted me almost but not quite five years.

Why don't tall guys like me?

Baby steps, people. Baby steps.

Okay, so a number of you have suggested that I might want to get myself out there and start trying this thing they call "dating" and, quite frankly, I've kind of figured you didn't know what you were talking about. But since my therapist suggested it too... I guess I should at least think about giving it a shot.

But you know, I honestly don't want to. Right now, I'm quite comfortable with my latest pseudo boyfriend (we have another pseudo date today), especially since I know he doesn't want to be my boyfriend and so why not just coast in the comfort of this "relationship" while avoiding the potential for getting hurt yet again?

Okay, okay. You're right. I need to give it a shot. But this is going to take some time. So right now, I think I'm working up to just making eye contact with cute guys. The next step will be flirting. And then maybe I'll move on to an actual date.

Sounds like a plan to me.

I like to think that I'm the kind of person that once I have a plan, I'm on it. So, this weekend I:

* made brief but flirty eye contact with cute guy at the GoLite warehouse sale. (could have made more eye contact but the deals were incredible and I have my priorities.)

* boldly made extended eye contact with cute, pro-skier guy at the Warren Miller movie yesterday. would have maybe even worked up the courage to go say "hi" (I had had a few beers and was wearing my fabulous movie-star sunglasses that I bought in Hawaii) but my rowdy group of friends was moving on.

* flirted just a wee bit with rugged ex-marketing turned handyman/outdoor adventure guy at dinner and got him to buy me a drink while pretending that I wasn't trying to get him to buy me a drink. good to know the skill are still intact.

I guess it's impossible to not be affected by the environment in which you live, to not be influenced (subtly or otherwise) by the opinions, beliefs, and lifestyles of those around you. I have been in Boulder for almost a year and I still dislike Crocs as much as I always have. therefore, I thought I was immune to being changed by this place. however, today I took Abby to the vet and she suggested using acupuncture to treat Abby's lower back/hip pain and I'm considering doing it.

the vet explained the process to me, how the first session lasts about an hour because they (the therapists) sit down with you (the owner) and ask a lot of questions to "get to know who Abby is as a person. questions like 'what is her favorite food?' and 'what's her favorite kind of weather?' because in Chinese medicine, they believe that in order to effectively treat a person, you need to really know and understand that person as an individual."

I did not snicker, smirk, or even inwardly roll my eyes at any of this. in fact, I was down with it. it sounded smart and interesting and valuable to me. dear god, what have I become?

I'm back from the south Pacific and officially experiencing jet lag. 12:27 and I'm not tired at all... so instead of being productive - packing my stuff for tomorrow, catching up on my correspondence, etc, I'm eating macadamia nuts and watching "The Daily Show."

So for me, the trip was pretty great. I saw lots of cool stuff and did lots of cool things. And, perhaps the most important thing was that I got away from here, forgot all about work, and learned some new stuff about my stuff and the world around me. I think that's what I like the most about traveling - you learn about yourself, the people you're with, and whether or not you're cut out for deep sea fishing.

Should I feel bad about the fact that I vomited off the side of the boat before we even left the harbor? Maybe. But I think the whole experience (deep sea fishing yes, but the trip in general) made me realize that I'm generally an easy-going, positive person. Case in point: despite the sickness, I was still pleasant to be around. As Lyle, our semi-hot deck hand remarked, "You're always smiling. You hurl over the side of the boat and right after, you're smiling again."

Yep, it's true. I was. But that's because instead of wallowing in my misery, I was thinking of just how good it feels right after you get sick. Honestly, it's the best you've ever felt in your entire life and if that's not something to smile about, I don't know what is.