Fearful people do stupid things

That's what the bumper sticker on the car in front of me said. Before that, while I was in my car, my theme song for the year came on (it's 32 flavors, the Alana Davis version, because I'm 32...) and the line "I never tried to give my life meaning by demeaning you" resonated with me. I've always been aware of the statement but because of everything I went through in 2006, I heard it more tonight.

Before that, when I was in the parking lot after yoga, it was dark out but I noticed a bright patch of sky behind the mountains, the sun setting. It made me think about the cyclic nature of the physical world (the day, the seasons, etc) and that made me think about the cyclic nature of our lives. There are good patches. There are rough patches. Neither one will last forever. Both will be part of your life. And it's good to have them both.

Before that, in my yoga class, the teacher had been talking about times when she had acted badly and didn't like who she was at that particular time. She said she was so grateful to have the friends she did because they loved her enough, believed in her enough, to give her the space to be off center, to know that she would grow and wouldl again be in a better place. It made me think of P. and how, during my bad time last year, he wasn't able to love me, believe in me, enough to know that I would grow and come back to a better place. I used to be incredibly hurt by that but what it comes down to is that he doesn't love himself, believe in himself enough to do that for himself and so he couldn't love or believe for anyone else.

Fearful people do stupid things. There is no object, no person, place or thing, in that sentence to indicate to whom or what fearful people do stupid things and I think sometimes what we forget is that fearful people hurt themselves, too. Actually, they probably hurt themselves more than they hurt others. Cause if you're actually happy and you're happy with yourself, then there's really no need to be mean to others. There's no reason to want them to feel bad, to make them look bad to others, etc. Sometims it seems so simple I'm not sure why we don't all get it. Then, other times, I know.